Aurora Eggert Coaching

Hey, good afternoon. I’m Sean Dustin from the nowhere

to go But up podcast. And joining me today is Aurora from

the Borealis experience and Aurora and myself if you haven’t

read the description, we teamed up, because in our past we’ve

you know, we were abusive people. And you know, we had

unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, the way that we

dealt with the opposite sex or this, our significant others was

not necessarily very productive, or very healthy. So what we

decided to do, and this is be the second episode of what we’ve

done is talk about these issues, and share them with you and let

you guys know that you’re not alone, if you are a part of this

group of people that has experienced these kinds of

things in the past. And if you’re looking to kind of change

your behaviors, and you know, identify sort of the things in

the blind spots in your life and in your behaviors. This is what

we’re here to do. We’re here to talk about these things. So,

Aurora, I’m gonna bring her in. Hey, Roy, once you go ahead and

introduce yourself, I’m gonna, I’m gonna share this real quick,

with a bunch of different groups while you’re taking care of

that.

Mm hmm. Thank you so much, Sean. Yeah, my name is Aurora, I

started the Borealis experience podcast a couple months ago and

met Sean along the way. And we started talking and just

realized that we have something in common that we’re not really

proud of. Like Sean just said, we were abusive, and

manipulative, and not awesome with our previous partners, or

maybe family members. And I think it is really important as

a woman to kind of disclose some of the behavior that I heard you

say, practiced. And from him side, too, to know that, yeah,

there’s women out there who are aware of this kind of behavior,

and we’re not proud of it, we want to be better. We want to

connect with you guys and have healthy relationships. quantize,

it is just hard to Yeah, be that wonderful, awesome, heartwarming

person because of stuff that happens in the past or stuff

that we still haven’t let go. of. So the show here is very,

very important to me. I’m very excited to be on this. And yeah,

thank you for supporting us and for sharing or giving us any

kind of feedback if you can relate, or if this is of any

benefit for you.

Thank you. I appreciate that for the yoke. carrying me there for

a little bit why why shared this through the Facebook groups. But

yeah, I mean, last, last episode, Episode Number one, we

talked about our past and kind of the things that you and I

both did, you took your turn. And I took my turn and we kind

of gave everybody an idea of kind of the kind of people we

were the things that we would do, you know, the traps that we

would lay for our significant others or, you know, maybe the

gaslighting that we would both do to try and you know, we and

we did unwrap a lot of stuff in that. And so I would suggest

that you go back and check that out, she has it on her on her

podcast, the Borealis experience, she’s got an episode

there, I have the same episode on mine, the nowhere to go, but

up podcast. So between either one, you’ll be able to find it.

And it’s called not proud of our behavior. Because that’s really

where we’re at, you know, we’re not proud of the way that we

behaved in the past. And we don’t want to continue that into

the future. And so by talking about it, and you know, kind of

like diving in and finding out like, you know, why? Why did we

do the things that we did, and, you know, and other stuff, and

then also checking in about, you know, how were we triggered in

any way this, you know, since we’ve talked, you know, have we

gone through any sort of things that, you know, were impactful

or where we had to step back and go, Oh, man, you know, I really

need to take a look at that, you know, because some of that old

stuff is starting to come up. Is that kind of like where you feel

Aurora?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Like as soon as I knew that, we were

going to do The second show on this Thursday, I was like, Oh,

I’m happy that I can talk about this stuff. And yeah, shed light

on. In order to dissolve it instead of suppressing it more

and more and more. And I hope our listeners can feel the same

way in just listening, we might invite you guys to be guests, or

to send us emails, of requests. But yeah, I was really looking

forward to that second episode now, because there was quite

quite a lot of stuff building up.

So let’s, let’s talk about that. Because you mentioned something

that’s really important. What happens when we don’t talk about

this stuff? What happens when we suppress it? Or what happens for

you, when you suppress these things, and don’t really get

them out and let them sort of fester?

Um, yeah,

let’s talk about suppression, I think that I become very quiet.

And when I opened my mouth, it’s usually cynical or very

negative. So I feel shame about my behavior, but don’t

communicate that I feel regret or anything, instead, I attack

the other person verbally. Or I just give them the silent

treatment, because I don’t want to confront my feelings that are

roaming inside of me. And the other person is usually, like

very helpless, and doesn’t really know how to approach me

if I need space, or if I need to be close, and what’s going on.

So I’m totally confusing my partner, and yeah, are maybe

even passive aggressive. And it’s my way to kind of channel

that pressure out of outside of me. And I know, it’s not the way

to go. It’s very disruptive.

So would you say that if you were more communicative to your

partner that and kind of bring them in on how you’re feeling?

Do you think that that would kind of help alleviate that

pressure? And also, any kind of tension? because now you’re sort

of bringing them into the fold of of what the issue is? Do you

think that that would be a solution?

Yeah, I’m totally aware that this would be the way to go. But

I still struggle with it, because I want to solve it on my

own. I don’t want to burden the other person, which doesn’t make

any sense, because how I behave is more exhausting and shitty

for them than if I was to communicate it. So there’s still

kind of a, that has to be both for me to know, if I communicate

it. There’s a good experience coming out, and I’m still not

there.

Okay. Yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s a, it’s a journey. It really is.

And, you know, I don’t I’m not sitting up here saying that, you

know, hey, I’ve got this figured out, you know, this is, you

know, I’m not I’m not, I’m not trying to sell you a course.

Right? I’m not trying to sell you a, anything that that’s

telling you that I know, how I that I’ve fixed myself, I’ve

fixed a lot of parts of myself. But there are still those parts

that that you know, come out. And if I’m not, you know,

exercising good communication, if I’m not keeping myself in a

good space. And one of the things that’s really important,

if I’m not acting like, my past is my, like, speaking about my

past is this, it’s as if it’s my present. That’s a huge, you

know, because when we talk about things, and like, for me, it’s

like, I’ll say, Yeah, well, I’m not very smart at business, or

I’m not very, I’m not a good business person. Well, that’s

not true. You know, I’m just uninformed about how to do some

parts of business, which makes me feel like, I’m not good at

the whole thing. And is, if I’m saying that about myself, I’m

actually willing it into existence. That what, that this

is, this is me, this is my truth. And that’s not true. And

so when we can get away from talking about our past as if

it’s our present, altogether, we eliminate that, that that self

fulfilling prophecy, right? I guess that’s what you would call

it. And so yeah, that’s really what what the key is here is

almost like figuring out how to almost like an addict, right?

Like a drug addict. You know, they got to figure out out what

their triggers are, you know, when I feel this way This

happens when I put myself in these situations over here, this

happens when I start feeling this way, what am I going to do

in order to make X, Y and Z not happen, right. And so those are

like mitigating things, mitigating bad outcomes from

happening. And a lot of that has to do with just playing the tape

out, right? Playing the scenario out in your head in before you,

you respond, you react emotionally, play the tape

through and respond intelligently. You got anything

to add to that?

What I want to add is that, like we’re talking eye to eye, I

don’t know if you say that in English, but we’re one level and

every you notice something that I’m doing, like, even just in

our little interviews here, I take your advice, because I

don’t feel you’re above there, and I’m down here. And we have

different levels of healing. And if you see something where I

could hear more, feel free to throw that advice in here and I

will happily receive it. And I might do the same for you if

that’s okay with you. Because at the beginning, he said, At no

point better than me, but we might have, like different

levels of healing. And yeah, I totally agree to what you just

said, in in being fixated on our past and saying, Yeah, this is

what happened to me in the past. And this is why I’m a victim

today. And this kind of gives me the green pass to behave that

way. That is not okay. Are you a victim? Or were you an abuser,

in both cases, cannot hold yourself in a box? Because

otherwise, you’re going to keep behaving the same way and never

get out of it? Right? I think that’s what what you were saying

when you talked about the past when we have to look at the past

and communicate about it. But we can’t make it our identity and

give us excuse to hold on to it more and kind of stay stuck in

that in that past behavior. Just because we keep repeating the

story like talking about it. So yeah, very, very to

it’s it’s, it’s, it’s about how we wield our words, right, how

we how we spin our words and how we you know, the words that we

use, oftentimes create the story in our head and the narrative,

right. And a lot of what we do is so second nature, that it is

subconsciously, it’s at the subconscious level, you know,

the behaviors that we did that we are using, like for myself,

some of the behaviors that I had were learned behaviors over

years of bad behavior. Right. And they have been ingrained in

so ingrained in what I do. From I’ll give you a good example. So

I would come home, like I wouldn’t have been doing

anything wrong. But I may have been somewhere where I shouldn’t

have been, you know, maybe I was at a friend’s house or maybe I

went to stop somewhere. And you know, to spend some money that I

don’t want to fess up about right. Maybe I went and bought

something for myself and anything, right. And instead of

just being honest about it, my immediate response was I would

lie about it. You know, and it would be it was stupid. Like you

were like this, like, what are you even lying about that? Four?

That’s so dumb. You know, there’s no reason there’s no

reason why you should have lied about that. I mean, you wouldn’t

have gotten in trouble. But now when I would have to explain it.

Yeah, I it’s like, I get caught up. In my words. It doesn’t seem

like it seems like I was doing something worse than I was

actually doing when I’m trying to, you know, live my life my

way out of it. Right. And it just goes from one to the next

to the next to the next. I mean, it had all of these adverse

reactions. And in order to mitigate that, it was just like,

Man, these are the kind of behaviors that I have. I know

that I have them. And let’s not let those behaviors rule my day.

Let’s not let them control My outcomes for my relationships.

And let’s let’s break free of them. And so that’s kind of what

I did. Does that kind of ring true true with you? Or how do

you feel about that? Did you have any behaviors like that,

that were like second nature to you that you kind of clung on to

that kept you not being able to progress? forward?

Yes, certainly, certainly, for me, lying was also a big part.

But a bigger part for me was, when I felt triggered, and the

trigger inside of me brought out feelings of powerlessness and

inferiority. I would totally like bite onto that problem, and

be so aggressive with any person that was going to come close to

me be someone trying to help me, or someone just there while I’m

still trying to figure stuff out. So that feeling of

powerlessness. So past week, it was, for instance, my phone that

just didn’t function the way I needed it. And I just kept

telling myself, this is just a test to the universe is testing

me if I really want to do that podcast, and it was really like

a huge stick in my wheels. Like, I couldn’t think anymore, I was

not creative anymore. And the people that live with me, the

people that surround me here and don’t really have an escape

right now, because of COVID. I was either totally aggressive

with or totally shut them out. And because I wanted to figure

that stupid situation out and kind of like, an aggressive

Pitbull, or you know, who can get out of that mode anymore.

And yeah, lying is definitely part of that to them. Because

you kind of try to have the happy face on and keep people

close and in a good mood and help them out. But then at the

same time, you build up so much resentment, because you’d rather

them help you instead of having to put that happy face on. So I

don’t allow myself to look weak in any kind. When I cry, it’s

really because I held back for so many weeks. But everything

that happens before is trying to protect that soft spot that is

actually crying for help, but I don’t allow it. I don’t know if

that makes any sense. So if that was totally confusing right now.

No, but that was confusing.

Yeah. Yeah, no, that wasn’t confusing at all. Actually, the

The funny thing about that is, is that when, when we can show

other people, our vulnerabilities, right, and our

weaknesses, those are actually our strengths. Right? The

ability to do that, but we’ve got ourselves so fooled, and

we’ve inverted the two, we make it seem like if that because I

have vulnerabilities and because I show weaknesses, like whether

it’s, you know, emotionally or you know, whatever it is for

you. I mean, it manifests itself differently in everybody. I

think it’s the opposite. I think that when you’re in your truth,

and you’re in, you’re being authentic, and you’re allowing

people to see the, the vulnerabilities in you. And I

think that I think that shows great strength.

Mm hmm.

Just when you’re in it, it is hard to, to then be that

vulnerable self person, because there’s also that weird

connection of feeling like a burden to others and wanting to

be strong for others. And if we just know that, no, it’s so

important to be vulnerable, because then the other person

can be the strong shoulder for you, otherwise they can’t,

otherwise they’re there and don’t really know how to, like

behave around you. And if you soften up if you admit what’s

going on inside of you, then you can actually create connection

and it’s, it’s a big step. It’s a big step to to just let those

guards down and say, Hey, I reached a point where I need you

So you have to be so if I’m hearing you, right, so, one, you

have to be able to communicate these things. Right, that’s,

that’s one part of defusing sort of the situation because if

you’re communicating and you’re telling people, you know, how

they can, how they can assist you, or how they can help you

show up better or how they can show up better, you know, in, in

the situation, that’s one thing, but then the other thing that

I’m hearing is that doesn’t allow you to go any further than

that. And that’s trust and lack of the lack of trust within

other people because whether it is you know, we’re trying to

protect ourselves, we’re not trying to get hurt. I do this a

lot and I just talked to this earlier to somebody that about

this earlier. So between my daughter and my dog, I give them

so much love, right? I am 100% like the kind of loving person

that you would want your significant other to be like to

be to get hugs and kisses and and to be playful with them and

to like you know, be silly and all of the things that you can

do once you trust somebody fully right and you know that they’re

not going to hurt you I can’t I can’t do that with with the

opposite sex. But my girlfriend watches me do that with my dog

in my in my my daughter all the time.

Yeah, and she’s probably why why not me and because she triggers

something in you that your daughter and your dog don’t

probably

won’t know it’s just a lack of trust. It’s because I don’t

trust it’s safe. It’s safe there right? Because my dog is gonna

love me unconditionally no matter what. Right? No matter

what I do my daughter same thing you know of course and you know

if I did something wrong to her record that’s a little bit

different because it’s you’re dealing with a human now. But

you know if you’re if you’re parenting the right way, you

want the best for your children. You want your your I want my

daughter to be safe and I want her to feel loved and I want her

to feel like she’s important and I want her to feel I want her to

feel like I’ll never leave her you know like she like she can

always count on me to be there for her and I have a hard time

doing

yeah

yeah and I have a hard time doing that with with with my

girlfriend or any opposite sex for that matter for probably the

last I would say 15 years you know maybe maybe even 20 years

there was a point where I just stopped trusting relationships

and you know for whatever reason probably because I was always

the one that burned them down. So maybe it will I just didn’t

trust myself. I don’t know like i said i’m not we’re not a

mental health counselors. We don’t we’re not giving you

mental health advice. We’re not giving you relationship advice.

We’re not giving you any kind of advice all we’re doing is

allowing you to be a fly on the wall have a conversation from

two people that struggled with sort of the same things but on

different spectrums of it and how we’ve gotten through it and

how we are you know, sort of navigating our are navigating

our way through it.

Exactly, exactly. Well said. Yeah, wish you is I think at the

root of like you and I are problem because if we were to

trust people fully we wouldn’t need to lie we will need to hide

we will need to come up with some stupid manipulative ways to

keep people interested in us and stuff so what can we do about

this? How can we be like you and I are with our dogs How can we

be those warm trusting people that’s that’s what I would love

to Yeah, no and this is my goal. This is where I want to end up

one day and I feel what we’re doing right now like it’s only

the second episode I feel so much better already. Talking

about this and finding stuff about ourselves that can help us

to to get there.

Yeah, I agree. So you let’s let’s move into something else

because we’re I what I’d like to try and do with these is keep

them to about a half an hour because those are consumable

pieces. When we start getting into To the to the half to the

half to the not to have over the 45 and one hour timeframes. I

feel like it unless you’re driving super content, but even

then, it’s I feel like the 30 minute mark is is the sweet

spot. I used to think it was 60. But now I believe it’s 30. So

tell me, tell me what what you’ve been going through. And

I’ll kind of check in on what I’m what my week’s been through,

it might take us a little bit longer than 30 minutes, but

we’re gonna try and do this and then and then wrap up.

Hmm. Yeah, so for me, it was a person from my poem who, like

wanted to keep in touch with me again. And yeah, for the last

year, I was very good at holding that person at distance. Because

Yeah, we went through some stuff where I behaved. Not good. And

his behavior was not awesome, either. But I felt my behavior

was more destructive. Because I needed to end things they were

not good for me anymore. And so now to going on a walk with that

person again and talking about that brought back all kinds of

Yeah, memories and guilt feelings and regrets that I

didn’t know how to channel out in how to I don’t want to say

behave around, but how to get rid of maybe even. So it was all

stuck inside of me because I thought I can’t really talk

about this with anybody, because nobody knows what was really

going on. I kept everything to myself back then. And I’m just

gonna keep doing the same now. So I found myself really pushing

people away, that wanted to be close with me and getting like

rashes and headaches and sleepless nights and feeling

very uninspired, like not worthy of doing my podcast even

anymore. And so it was a huge mess in my head and in my life.

So to say, and, and now I’m feeling better.

But it

was being reminded of the past, I think of my past behavior that

totally threw me off of my solid train tracks that I thought I

was. What was it for you soon? Or if you want to add something

to this, feel free?

Yeah, that’s why it’s important, you know, because sometimes when

we think that we have it, we have it licked. Right, I guess

you would say, Oh, I got this. I got this, and I’m not even

trippin. I’m gonna that’s not even a problem anymore. But

that’s, that’s your that’s your subconscious tricking your ass.

Right? Because, you know, what? What are you going to do? If if

that footing isn’t so solid? Right? What, what, what is your,

I guess you would say a word for that is like, what’s your

parachute? You know, what’s it? What are you going to fall back

on? You know, what is your plan? to not have to go through this

and what I mean by what is your plan. So I’m going to give an

analogy here. I’m an addict, I suffered from addiction, for

method of methamphetamines. I was addicted for 18 years. Then

I went into a seven year opiate addiction on pain pills. So when

I went and had surgery on my arm, it’s been, you know, over

two years, since I’ve taken painkillers, I got prescribed

painkillers. And so what I had to do is I had to have a plan,

because I knew that they were going to offer them to me. So

what am I going to do about that? Right? Am I gonna not take

them? Am I gonna take them? Or like, like, what does that look

like? And so I created a plan before I even went to the

surgery, I had gotten my girlfriend to agree like, Hey,

man, when we bring these pills home, because I’m not gonna not

gonna take because I don’t want to, I don’t want to feel pain.

If this is gonna help me through it. I’m cool with it. But I want

you to hold on to them. And don’t allow me to overuse them.

Because I probably will.

Yeah.

And so and then, and then too, when the doctor came and asked

me how many pills that I wanted. I mean, I guess I could have

said 50. I could have said I mean 100 would have been way too

much. But I just said Just give me 20 of them. I’m cool with

that way, you know, that’s a good amount to get me through

the beginning part, and you get what I’m saying. So you got to

have a plan and that’s and that goes the same way. way for when

you’re trying to deal with people or you’re trying to deal

with your old behaviors, you got to have a plan for when they

show up, right? For when that that stuff comes out, and you

haven’t dealt with it, or you haven’t talked it out, or you

haven’t talked to somebody close to you to like relief relief,

the pressure valve, right? Sorry, let some of that let some

of that out. And that happens when when you talk to people

like what we’re doing right now, that’s, that’s letting some of

that pressure out. Some of what I want to talk talk about in

word 30. So when I was in my using in my addiction with my X,

hey, Louis, how are you? Um, we. So my behavior when I was an

addict, with my ex, my, my daughter’s mom’s, I have two

daughters, one of them I had when I was younger, and she’s

21. Now, I got those parental rights taken away from me. And

her mom, her mom filed to have my rights terminated. Because

not because of anything that I did to my daughter or anything

like that, but just because of my behavior and my addiction. I

had done something, you know, she, I kind of screwed her over

pretty big time. And so that was her way of doing it. I could

have contested it, but I chose not to. I chose not to because I

chose addiction in my in partying over, over my my

responsibilities as a father. And so I yeah, and so I excused

it away by saying, you know what, she’s probably better off

without me. And you know, I made all these excuses in my mind as

to why this would be the best choice for, for for me, you

know, but but disguising it as the best choice for her. Right?

That little level game we played to rationalize our behavior. So

fast forward, I went to prison, all that happened, I would lie

about it when I tell the story. And I would say that, oh, yeah,

she waited till I went to prison. And then she had me

served. That’s, that’s bullshit. That didn’t happen that way. I

chose not I chose not to, to contest it not show up and party

in and not come to the court date. So three, you know, years

have gone by I went I you know, I got out of prison. And I found

them. And I made contact. You know, I didn’t talk to him. I

didn’t do any of that stuff. But I mean, I talked to him through

messenger. And then not too, not maybe about two, two years ago,

I found her on Instagram. And we’ve been talking back and

forth. I, I don’t I didn’t know how to navigate that situation.

Because it’s like, yeah, I’m your biological dad. But I’m not

your father. Right? Because a father is all these other things

that I didn’t do. Right? Like, I would consider myself a father

to my daughter, my daughter that I have now my three and a half

year old, because I’m involved in her life. I’m there every

day. I’m you know, supporting her physically, financially,

mentally, and all that stuff. And this one I didn’t do that

for so it just like navigating that whole system, like what do

you even like, where do you even start with that, right? And so I

kind of half assed the, sometimes I would say, Hey, you

know, sometimes I just get busy and not say anything. So what I

think happened is it made her seem or feel like I wasn’t

interested. Like,

I don’t, you know, I don’t want to kind of be in your I mean, I

could be in your life, or I could not be in your life, you

know, I could take it or leave it. That’s kind of like, what I

think what I was presenting. And so that went on for a while. And

just recently, within the last, I would say three or four days,

she’s reached out to me, and wants to have a relationship and

wants to get to know me and wants to go down that path of,

you know, whatever that is, and, you know, whatever that’s going

to look like for us as we’re trying to figure this out. And I

knew that I knew that. I knew there would be a day that this

would be that, that possibly this could happen, right?

Because everybody always said, Well, you know, most daughters

want to know who their dad are, who their dad is, and she’s

always gonna want to know that and she’s gonna want to know

what the story is. You know, cuz she’ll hear one from her mom,

which I don’t know what that is. I haven’t even we haven’t even

gotten even into that and I don’t really even care you No,

that’s not, that doesn’t matter to me. We were both probably way

different people back then than we are now. So that’s kind of

where I’m at. And that’s the the things that I’m dealing with

this week. And so there’s a part of me that’s really, really

happy. And wow, that, yeah, that maybe I might get a chance to,

to fix those mistakes, right? That I had in the past, and I

don’t know what that’s gonna look like. I don’t know what

that’s gonna look like. And it’s kind of scary.

It is scary, because it’s very uncertain. And at the same time,

it’s so big and beautiful. And it could finally help you to let

go of all the guilt and shame that you felt around that story.

Right?

Oh, sorry, everybody didn’t mean to, to get there. But there’s a

lot more. There’s a lot more under that than that. I you

know, I’m kind of like trying to hold back. But when, when that

time actually comes when we actually meet again, and it’s

been since she was 18 months. The last time I seen her she was

18 months old. And she’s 21 now, and I’m probably going to lose

my shit. I’m not gonna lie. I’m probably gonna cry like a

fucking baby. And like, like the convulsion kind, right? The

uncontrollable kind? Because there’s a lot of pain wrapped in

there, man.

Exactly. Yeah. And for so long, my God, 21 years and but you

know what, I think it’s exactly that reaction that every

daughter, who is seeking out her dad secretly wants, you know,

wants the emotional, soft and warm kind of reaction and

embracing her and just being happy that everything is over

now, and you guys get to have a new start.

Yeah, yeah, I’m excited. But I’m scared either. I have all these

emotions. Hey, joy, how are you? Thanks for joining the

broadcast. Joy is one of my patreon subscribers and one of

my people that support the show and appreciate you. It’s

probably not assigned to you that you probably thought you

would see from me, but

a very beautiful one.

So yeah, we have so so here we go. If we’re gonna wrap this up

here, cuz it’d be 40 minutes is cool. If you want to be on the

show, if you want to reach out to the show, you got a story

that that, you know, maybe you were one of these people, or

maybe you were somebody who was on the other side of it, and was

affected by an abusive person. And you and you, and if you

don’t, if you want to come on the show, write an email, right?

shoot us an email and let us know, the email will be GGG let

me find it. Nowhere to go, but up now@gmail.com you go. Go

right there. And put together an email, if you don’t want to be

on the show, and you just want to give us your story. And maybe

we’ll read it on air. And, you know, and answer questions about

it. That’s, that’s possible, too. You can do that as well.

You know, like I said, the point here is to get real, and get

vulnerable, and get honest with who we were. And until we can do

that, or you can do that if you’re somebody who’s struggling

with some of the same things. You’re never going to progress

until you get real and honest with who you were. And the only

way over over stuff like that is through it. And talking about it

and not hiding from it. And being honest about it has been

one of the key things that has made it so I can heal from it,

honestly. And so, you know, that’s just what I want my own

message there. Do you got anything parting words.

Those are very, very beautiful words. And all I can add is that

it be so wonderful to have more people sharing their stories

here. And we’re all in this together, we can all learn from

each other. And we can support each other through that time of

change and uncertainty, because it’s sometimes very scary to let

go of an old story and pain and how how am I who am I when I

don’t feel pain when I don’t feel shame? So don’t hesitate.

And yeah, support our little show here and do yourself good

to

thank you. Thank you joy, we appreciate that. And then also

two words, we’re still working things out, you know, we did the

last one on zoom. And I didn’t like the audio, this one here

looks like it may have a little bit of issues with with your

your connection, because it’s you’re blurry, but the audio is

good. So that’s really what this is, is like we want to do with

these anyways, is that we want we wanted better audio. So we

used stream yard so we can both upload these. What’s that?

Sorry, sorry, that’s

the home phone.

Alright, and so we want to be able to put these up on our

podcast platforms, you know, on the like, like iTunes, Spotify.

And so we’re gonna take the audio from this, and then she’ll

upload them to her her podcast, which is the Borealis

experience. Go ahead and play actually go ahead and plug plug

which where you are.

Um, so yeah, the Borealis experience is on Spotify, on

Apple on Deezer, and many, many other platforms, you can visit

my homepage, the boreal experience.com and listen there,

or you will be directed to your favorite host.

Yes. All right. And then also for me, you know, you can you

can contact me at the email there, or you can go to my link

tree, which is probably the easiest place up, same thing,

it’s probably the easiest place to get ahold of me, because

that’s for every place that I’m at, you can go and support my

nonprofit, if you want to learn more about that you can go and

you know, if you like what I’m doing, and you you know, want to

buy me a coffee, you can do that as well, that there’s tabs in

that link tree to buy me a coffee, you can do comments per

subscriber like joy is to my Patreon, where you know, you can

be a $1.02 to 135 and $10 levels of where you can, you can

subscribe and each tier has different perks. So you can go

over there and figure all that out. And I believe all of that

is available in the description, direct links to all that stuff,

especially in and for Aurora herself. So if you like what

we’re doing, and you think that this is a good idea, please let

us know, reach out and let us know what we can do different

topics that you think that we can talk about that fit in with

this sort of narrative here. And we’d like to hear from you.

Yes.

Alright. So until, yeah, thank you, again, Aurora. I really

appreciate that. And, you know, until next time, we’re going to

try and figure out a schedule to do this maybe every two weeks,

maybe every three weeks. I’m not sure exactly where we’re at with

it. This is the second time that we’ve done it. So go check out

the first one. Because if you want to learn who we were in the

kind of behavior that we that we did, that’s all in that first

episode. So yes, I hope you guys have a great rest of your week.

great weekend. Figure out if you struggle with any of this stuff.

You know, figure it out. And if you’re struggling with something

to the point where you don’t know if you’re gonna hurt

yourself or somebody else, seek out help call the hotlines,

which we should have, you know, that’s what we should do the

next time we should have like links and phone numbers for

suicide prevention and mental health emergencies and stuff

like that, that we can flash up as well. Because since we are

not licensed counselors, the least that we can do is direct

you to a place where you can get some help from people that that

are licensed.

Yes. Very good idea, Shawn.

Yeah. All right. So we’re out of here. Have a great weekend. And

keep it 100 and stay true to yourself.

Yes,

thank you so much, john, and you soon again.

Bye