Aurora Eggert Coaching

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I’m your host Aurora, and I’m very excited to

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be posting that interview for you today. My guest today is

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Louis Brandtmeyer. Yes, I pronounce his last name the

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German way. He probably pronounces it differently. But

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brandtmeyer it is. He is a relationship coach and CEO and

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founder of speak powerfully No. And it’s helping people to tap

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into their potential to unlock their potential and to let go of

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pain and suffering and restriction and suppression. He

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is just, yeah, an incredible person. And I was wondering,

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what is his story? You know how every hero goes through pain and

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suffering and adversity. I wanted to dig a little deeper

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and find out more about Louis today. So yeah, I’m very excited

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to have you here now with me, introduce yourself to us. And

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yeah, share your story. Gosh, well,

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thank you so much for having me. And I really love the title.

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super clever, I always appreciate a good fun. Yeah,

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where to start goodness. I’ve gone through everything from

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suicidal depression, and addiction, and anger issues, to

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just being generally awkward and socially unclear on what to do

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and how to relate to people or how to manage my own emotions.

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And it’s led to a lot of chaos. When I was growing up, my father

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abused my mother. And there were moments where things like, he

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would beat her well, he was she was pregnant with my little

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brother and just leave her to die on the floor. And then we’d

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have a duck there was like a family doctor who came in and

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luckily was like grumpy and angry and took care of her and

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drew her out of this. And so this is the kind of environment

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I grew up in. And, you know, consciously I don’t remember

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much. But subconsciously, there were a lot of layers of fear and

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terror and felt need to like, control my environment and

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people around me, so that I could be safe with the

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underlying belief that I wasn’t ultimately safe, either for

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people to be around because I come from that dad, or that I

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wasn’t safe, you know, just as an actor in the world, like

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that, that at any moment, violence could occur at any

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moment. You know, my tender heart could be sort of stumped

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on, or like thrashed at. And of course, I didn’t know about any

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of this. I grew up a precocious as I said, socially, awkward,

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somewhat anxious, but nerdy, obsessed with science fiction,

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deeply in love with, you know, Star Trek and Star Wars and all

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of that sort of thing. And I found my way, you know, grammar

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school, high school, I became super religious, and gave myself

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to Catholicism. And that really helped a lot at the time, like

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well, and eventually in college, and as I look back, there is a

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clear pattern and pathway to and a method to the madness in my

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life, up to that point where people were diagnosed with

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autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, as I was which I go back and

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forth on whether or not it’s even useful to bring that up

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from time to time because I disagree with the diagnosis and

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I’m more effective at sales and marketing and public speaking

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and engaging with people than a lot of neuro typicals people who

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aren’t diagnosed. So long story short, though, I found my

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routines I found my people to emulate I found my style of

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living. And it really wasn’t until later on, like after high

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school, that profound sort of unworked ability and instability

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and chaos in my behavior. And in my interactions and engagements

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with people started to show itself and largely precipitated

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by the use of marijuana and psychedelics. Right. So that

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that was kind of an unleashing, of the dragon inside of me. Like

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I started to become highly reactive and highly anxious and

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the suicidal depression around not understanding how to be in

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relationships and not understanding how to manage

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relationships effectively like, like led to some really deep,

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dark places. And how did I come out of it? Well,

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my family, I can say they didn’t know how to handle it. My

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mother, actually, no, the very first point of light on this

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journey was about halfway through high school and very

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high functioning autistic, right. So I was super brilliant,

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super smart, made excellent grades. If anybody talked to me,

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they knew that I knew a lot and that I was capable of a lot. And

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they’re immediately like, Oh, yeah, he’s really smart. But

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when it came to emotional intelligence, Hmm, I did not

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have that. Whether it was self regulation, or again, social

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intelligence, and managing emotions and connection. And I

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dated someone who was working on being a psychologist and a

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physical therapist. And at one point, after we broke up, she

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recommended that I get tested to see if I was on the autism

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spectrum. So I went to a cognitive behavioral therapist,

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and I got the test and it came back that it was highly likely

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that I was there, and I resisted the fuck out of that diagnosis.

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I said, I’m normal. I’m not, you know, there’s nothing wrong with

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me. I don’t think this is useful, and yet, um, threw

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herself headlong into the research around things like

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meltdowns, which, you know, I’ve come a little further along, and

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I have new opinions on what actually causes this, that the

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ultimate idea one of the ideas about autism is that autistic

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people actually have more emotional sensitivity, they do

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still have different brains, they just have more emotional

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sensitivity than neurotypical which is, most people on the

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standard deviation of how brains end up, right. And that that

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enhanced sensitivity leads to if experiencing a trauma or a

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moment where there’s intense emotion shutting down and having

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decreased functionality. And this is a perfect match to my

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experience. Now that I’ve done all sorts of work to heal,

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because I’m deeply empathic and cry at movies, I cry at

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everything, because I feel love and compassion and empathy and

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the intensity of what other people are feeling in a way that

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maybe they don’t, and maybe in a way that allows them to start to

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allow those emotions and that energy up for healing and for

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release and for letting go. And I never knew I would describe

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myself as a healer, but that that is who and how I am now.

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And it exists now in the context of a business development,

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coaching practice. But I’m bringing in the element I’m

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bringing back in the elements, both of live events that I had

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an empowering Austin now, and also the elements of

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Relationship Coaching, in order to have it just be a full

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expression of all the gifts that are in my heart. But um, long

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story short, I got the diagnosis, my mother understood

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the diagnosis, my mother started to sort of gently suggest that,

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you know, hey, Louis, you know, sometimes when you’re feeling

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emotions, it’s going to be like, your your shirt is on fire.

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Like, it’s not a normal sensation that other people get.

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There’s, there’s like a sensory sensitivity that is deeper and

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more painful than others. So you just be aware of that. And it

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wasn’t until I got in trouble or came close, excuse me to getting

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in trouble with the law, that I took a deep, strong hard look at

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that and thought, Oh, yeah, I do have a brain that’s different

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and a reactivity sort of sensitivity that other people

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don’t and I get to manage that I get to honor that. And it was

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somewhere. Actually, before that specific realization that I

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started to do personal development work in 2012. I was

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suicidally depressed because of a breakup with a woman who I

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deeply loved. And a friend of mine invited me very coyly very

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cleverly, to her graduation, quote unquote. And as luck would

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have it, if it was in fact a graduation from a communications

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course with the basically the world leader in transformation

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or Personal Growth Training and Development landmark worldwide.

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And it to me was the gateway into a whole world of self work

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of gaining tools for communication, gaining tools for

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emotional self mastery and intelligence, healing, pockets

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of trapped energy and emotion in the body. And over the course of

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the next seven or eight years, I had ups and downs. But I also

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went into entrepreneurship, which forced everything up, they

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say, if you want to deal with your shit, become an

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entrepreneur or go into like, get into a relationship

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conscious relationship, or both. And I was doing both for a good

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portion of that time. And thus had a lot of my my shit to look

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at and cancel clear on shit. I don’t believe that there’s

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anything wrong with anyone on the planet, you are not broken.

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There’s, there’s no shit that’s there for you to heal. There’s

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just ultimately resistance that we have perfectly created in

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perfect divine order and perfect timing, to protect us from pain,

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and to help us achieve more satisfaction that gets stored in

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our bodies as beliefs as perspectives as perceptions. And

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yet, it’s up to us to do the work to release that resistance

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in alliance with our superconscious mind or through

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healing or energy work. And so the more I’ve done to heal, the

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more recent sanitized, I’ve gotten the better results I’ve

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gotten in terms of health, and wealth and relationships and

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happiness and spiritual connection in purpose and

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leadership, all of it. Because I and I’d say How did I get out of

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it? Well, I started to take 100% responsibility for my experience

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for my reality, and started to say, Well, I’m going to do it.

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That’s it period. And it was really the desire to have a

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successful business. And to do whatever it took, like what was

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the carrot on the end of my stick that took me through all

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the zigzags and all the hard work and all the pain because I

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used to wear a shirt that says spiritual masochist. Because you

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know, we’re not here to feel happy, we’re here to feel fully.

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And if we feel fully, then we can feel happy, because feelings

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buried alive, never die. And we get to, you know, stew in them

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or move through them, and allow them up and feel them. And so

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yeah, I did a lot of that work. And it It wasn’t fun all the

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time. But the other side of it always was, I always felt

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better. And it became a positive addiction. So when I talk about

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addiction, by the way, I was pornography over the course of

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15 years, that I only very recently cleaned up. And so my

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personal belief to anyone dealing with mental issues, or

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mental health or emotional chaos, or depression or suicidal

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thoughts, is figure out what your purpose is on this planet.

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What’s your message to countries who you are for the world, and

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embrace that fully, and get devoted to that fully. We’re

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here to give to be a fountain, not a dream. And when we step

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into that consciousness, that awareness that we’re here to

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create, and to give, and we create, you know, in my world,

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entrepreneurship really is the vehicle for that. But it could

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be not a nonprofit, it could be serving some organization or

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group. For me, it was just like the carrot on to the end, the

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end of the stick was I’m going to live my purpose, I’m going to

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do it. That’s it period. And anything that gets in the way

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inside of me, I’m going to pull the weeds from my garden and

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find a clear space and state of my birth, what I consider to be

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my birthright of bliss, peace, love and joy, and compassion and

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act from there. So anyway, that’s that’s kind of the broad

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overview. You know, in a nutshell, how did that land for

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you?

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That was amazing. What I yeah, especially loved is what you

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just said with the weeds that you pull out your internal weeds

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because I feel a lot of times we take our past our circumstances

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or other people as excuse like external circumstances as an

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excuse to not do our work. Because it is so hard to look at

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yourself and to see our shit. I can change that behavior. I can

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work on that pain and let go of these emotions. It’s way easier

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to say Oh, I can’t do this because I’m so damaged and so

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burned from my past that Yeah, I don’t know what my purpose is.

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So to not take the external as an excuse and to really go deep

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and Feel what is inside of you, and then bring it out. I can

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also imagine that when you grew up as a child that you were very

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anxious and you were always, I don’t know, waiting for the next

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catastrophe to to happen. And that way, that’s why it was your

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intelligence, your protection, to numb out the strong feelings.

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But feelings that we suppress, kind of, yeah, clog up our heart

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and our whole being. And you were able to, to get out of it

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and free yourself from it. And yeah, it’s Wow, I’m blown away.

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It’s a very, very strong story. And it all makes sense, like

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everything you say, all makes sense, and is very easy to

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listen to. I just wonder now. So if you’re still struggling with

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like, thoughts, negative thoughts, negative self image?

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What would you recommend? is the first step to take when when

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you’re very still very insecure with who you are? Hmm.

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Yeah, there are a couple things. I mean, every for everything

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from the landmark forum, which they’re now doing online, as I

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understand, I think it’s like 700 bucks or something super

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worth it, to surrounding yourself with the people who you

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want to be, or be like or become, right. So coaching was a

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big part of the profound transformation from deep, not

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happy, negative thinking to positive thinking. We can never

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underestimate or more overestimate, frankly, the power

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of having someone so so your nervous system is conditioned in

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a certain way. We all carry a pool of poison and pain, called

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the past as trauma stored in our bodies stored as thought form

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stored as literal like sometimes people overeat in order to

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protect themselves or to shove emotions down, for example. So

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there could be literal fat cells and deposits, blocking people

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from feeling what’s there. And yeah, one of the things that I

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did was just start getting out of my head and into

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communication. Humans are meant to be in action. And in

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communication, we always flourish and function better and

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find more flowing and joy, if we’re in communication. So you

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know, I don’t love Alcoholics Anonymous, because, or those

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sorts of programs because they use our sacred word to affirm

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over and over daily, I’m an addict, quote, unquote, cancel

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clear, which you’ll notice that I use my language very

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carefully, in order to not have anything dropped into my

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subconscious, that I don’t agree with, and

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but long story short, we become the average of our five best

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friends. And when our nervous system is muddled, or mucked up

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by some trauma trigger, if we simply get into communication

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with someone else, who’s willing to listen, and to hear us speak

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without judgment, without reaction without trying to fix

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or change, or transform anything, who is just there to

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what we used to call a landmark, recreate, like to listen for,

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what was the person actually saying? What is the emotion

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behind the words? And what is the commitment behind the words.

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So I would call up one of my dear friends, over and over

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anxious, angry, frustrated, reactive, because a day had gone

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wrong or financial situation was not right or whatever, and he

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would just listen. And we, as humans, we often don’t listen,

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we’re listening to respond instead of to understand we’re

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listening to react instead of be fully present to the embodied

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communication of another. And you can tell this when you are

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speaking to somebody, like and I’ll just ask you, have you ever

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felt the difference when you’re talking to somebody and they,

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they’ve got your full attention? And you because of that you

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light up and you get more excited and you have more energy

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and enthusiasm versus when you’re talking to somebody and

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they’re kind of distracted? They’re not really listening?

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They’re like, Yeah, okay. Yeah, it’s it’s prohibitive, like it

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tunes the energy down. Does this match your experience, by the

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way? Oh, absolutely. Just yesterday, I had an experience

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yet. Hmm. So yeah, the power of listening and getting what we

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call it Committed listener. It’s it’s a step on the way to having

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a coach By the way, but it is something that anybody can do at

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any time in any place in the world is create what we, we used

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to call an 18. A group of people who always listen to you as as

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your highest self, rather than as the lowest common denominator

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of your thoughts and feelings, which we often in landmark they

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used to say, your mind is a bad neighborhood, it’s okay to visit

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but you don’t want to live there. You don’t want to stay

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there. Now. As I become a coach, yeah, as I become a coach, I’ve

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discovered that the more weeds I pull from my subconscious

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garden, again, the more I ally, myself, superconscious, mind and

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heal, the more My thoughts are actually supportive and

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empowering, I barely have negative thoughts. In my

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personal experience, I have moments when I’m triggered, and

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and that’s when I have negative thoughts. But the great majority

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of my experience is uplifting, hopeful, optimistic, willing,

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active, empowered, responsible, respectful, loving, gentle,

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kind. And those are all things that you can build yourself

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through just doing deeper and deeper layers and levels of

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healing work. So you know, the first step for somebody who’s

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just like dealing with garden variety, negative thoughts, or

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mental trauma or emotional chaos, is to assemble your team

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of Avengers of superheroes around you who you can call up

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maybe three or three to five at any time, like you can call one

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of them. If they’re not available. You call the next one

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and just say, hey, do you have space? And here’s the thing, you

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want it to be a contribution to them. You don’t want to be that

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guy who calls every every other day and says, I’m dealing with

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shit. Will you listen to me vent? No, it’s different. It’s

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different than that. It’s calling somebody after making an

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agreement to be that for them first. Giving them the gift of

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being that for them first, and then calling them with the

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intention to let go and clear, which is very different from

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Yeah, go ahead. What are you hearing?

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Okay, I’m hearing that. Okay, you experienced those feelings,

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you experienced that negativity, but you call your friend, you’re

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a team with the intention to give to somebody else. What do

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you need?

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Like, well, so it’s, it’s subtle. It’s subtler than that.

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Okay. The the way that I established the relationship

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where they’d always be willing to answer the phone, is by

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giving them and promising to be what I’m asking them to be for

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them first. Ah, yes. So that’s the first step. So there’s an

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energetic balance, there’s respect, there’s responsibility.

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There’s two adults coming together rather than one person

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looking for a hero, because there’s two ways you can be in

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the world. There’s Go ahead, go ahead.

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No, no, no, no, I’m just so fascinated. I’ve never heard

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that before. There’s two, yes.

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Two ways. There’s creator or consumer. And a creator realizes

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they’re 100% responsible for their health, wealth, happiness,

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relationships, and spiritual connection, their leadership,

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everything that they want to have be or do in the world or in

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their life is up to them. If it is to be it depends on me, as we

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say, the entrepreneurs credo, right. And yet, we’re taught by

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teachers, preachers, family, friends, media and government,

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that we’re not good enough. We’re not capable, we can’t do

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it. We’re unworthy. We have to look to external authorities

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outside of ourselves to figure out how to get rich or powerful,

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or these authorities. This programming that we received

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from society and culture tells us to get rich tells us to have

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a relationship that looks a certain way tells us that

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happiness only comes while you’re drinking a coke, for

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example, on commercials, right? And so that’s, that’s what

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created to create the condition to consume. And there are very

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specific ways in which we’re going to consume. We’re

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conditioned to consume as heroes who prove our worthiness to be

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loved or our value through rescuing people. And always

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needing someone who is less than us, for us to rescue. We consume

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through being a victim. Woe is me. There’s something wrong with

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me. I need someone to save me please call me and listen to me

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vent so that I’m going to be okay at the end of it like that.

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There’s a subtlety there, right? Why I’m going through this whole

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thing. It’s like it’s not that when you call someone else on

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your team, and you can also be a villain, which so if somebody

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really desperately wants love, but they’ve decided they can’t

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get What’s the next best thing significance and see you, I

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promise you, I promise you someone who walks into a bank,

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in a mask with a gun and waves that around, they feel

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significant when people start raising their hands and backing

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away and, and so being a villain is another way of and all three

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of these positions hero, victim and villain are about consuming

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other people’s energy rather than realizing Wait I’m I’m a

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power plant, I generate energy, I don’t need to take energy from

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other people. I don’t need to get anything from anyone, in

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order to be fully empowered or happy or successful. And yet, at

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the same time, we have traumas stored in our nervous system.

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And, you know, it’s difficult for us because suffering is pain

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multiplied by resistance. So we have pain from past traumas that

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we resist that we suppress that we push down that we what’s

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called pack and stack, we layer them on top of each other. And

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then we’re walking around, like, like somebody who’s whose hands

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are full of splinters, and we go to shake somebody’s hand and it

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hurts us, because we’ve got something inside that we haven’t

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dug out. So so most people most of the time walking around,

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they’re a walking ball of emotional splinters, where every

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step they take, they react. And our birthright is bliss is peace

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is love and joy, if we can get back to that primal innocent

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state, through doing the work of healing, and so on, you’re a

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team with your committed listener, you’re not calling

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them up as a victim, you’re not calling them up to make them a

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hero. You’re also not calling them up to make them a villain

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when they don’t respond the way that you want them to. I learned

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that lesson too. I didn’t know that I was operating from the

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victim villain because you can be a victim hero or victim

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villain. And I lost some friendships that way in the

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process of practicing this, or added a lot of stress and

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pressure to some really sweet like super contributory generous

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people. Because I wasn’t sensitive to it. So

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you know, when I say and communicate and begin to touch

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and stay and feel with deep pain and emotional trauma in my body,

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in my energy system, it can be overwhelming, it can be intense.

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But if someone else is listening, if someone else is

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paying attention, then they can apply mindfulness and

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equanimity, which are terms from Buddhism, precision in

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awareness, and allowing or non resistance like indifference to

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the physical sensations that I’m experiencing in a way that I

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can’t, as as a reactive stimulus response mechanism, right? We’re

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all mammals, and we all like put a hand on a hot stove, and we we

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launched back, right. So it takes something but it doesn’t

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take that much. Like, one of my primary jobs as a coach is to

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just be fully present for people. And when I’m just fully

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present, whatever needs to happen will happen. Whatever

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needs to come up will come up, no matter what somebody is

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feeling, anger, sadness, grief, depression, anxiety, whatever,

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it can help them to step into their full power and authority

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to feel through. And on the other side, that resistance that

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they’re holding on to gets let go of, and the the

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quintessential expression of how to do this yourself or how to

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employ, so to speak, a committed listener to do this is in David

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Hawkins, his book, letting go the pathway of surrender. He’s

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an MD and a PhD. And his work is amazing. I was handed the book

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by the former CEO of the third largest real estate company in

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the world. And he said, Here is a key to my success. And I was

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like, Mind blown because I had been around, you know, new agey

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hippies for years talking about feel your feelings and focus on

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visualize what you want. And it wasn’t until the really

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successful, fulfilled wealthy, rich and accomplished

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entrepreneurs around me started saying, hey, this, this is what

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I did. This is how it works. Like, you need to feel your

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feelings you need to get emotionally intelligent. And so

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yeah, if I were to quit, how I was successful, or how I went

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from mentally unstable and chaotic, and dissatisfied, and

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depressed and dark, and all of that too successful on

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accomplished and helping people around the world become the same

Unknown: 00:29:41

way. I would say it’s emotional intelligence. And I would say

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it’s also spiritual intelligence. Because there’s

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something going on in this universe that’s more than us

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more than our little egos. And whether you call it God or

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superconscious, mind or source or spirit or infinite

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intelligence. I don’t care I’m just checking in, like, like,

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imagine there’s a higher perspective and you we talked

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about my my picture on the wall, my artwork right earlier, you

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can’t see the picture while you’re inside of it. And we’re

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inside of a picture. We’re inside of a grand story, we’re

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inside of a grand adventure that is meant to work out a certain

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way. If we surrender if we align with our purpose, our highest

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good our intuition, and some of those things took me many years,

Unknown: 00:30:34

I started Catholic and then I became atheist for a long time.

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And then I just recently wrote a post about how I often while

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dancing the EDM, find myself kneeling, and facedown in prayer

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on my carpet weeping, because I can feel my own connection with

Unknown: 00:30:52

a higher power infinite intelligence that that helps me

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as a vehicle for grace, to unleash people’s souls and

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hearts from deep trauma and pain and resistance. And it’s it’s a

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profound, profound gift. And, and I’m grateful that I’ve done

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the work to be able to embody that level of love. And I mean,

Unknown: 00:31:14

I have to say this too, I’m not always perfect, I lash out at

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people, I get angry, I get frustrated, I get anxious. From

Unknown: 00:31:22

time to time, I’d say like, maybe five times a week, on

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average, like, which is probably distinctly super, super low

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compared to most of humanity. But I have tools for digging

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myself out within 10 minutes to 30 minutes. And as an example,

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just before this call, one of my clients was like, Hey, where’s

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this thing. And by the way, you didn’t say that you didn’t put

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this thing in this folder on Dropbox and, and I felt anxious,

Unknown: 00:31:51

I was like, Oh, I’m not perfect. My core wound of the the

Unknown: 00:31:57

original identity of I’m not perfect, got triggered. So I

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just sat with it, put my hand on my stomach, and said, Hi,

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breathe.

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I touch this sadness, this anxiety. I feel I stay. And I

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love speaking to the inner child speaking to, to that version of

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me that was reacting, and then it cleared. So I mean, you can

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do the work yourself. You can do the work with others,

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ultimately, do the work. And you’ll have more bliss, peace,

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love, joy and accomplishment and better relationships than you

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could have ever imagined.

Unknown: 00:32:33

Ah, Louis, thank you so much for sharing all of this, like I know

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you, you brought so much value just now to people who maybe

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have never been in touch with spirituality and empowerment and

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self growth. What I forgot to mention at the beginning, this

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is only part one of Lewis brand Maya. Next time, we will

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continue this conversation and maybe dive deeper into porn

Unknown: 00:33:01

addiction and relationship coach how to? Yeah, go from trauma and

Unknown: 00:33:09

pain into loving yourself and then being able to love and

Unknown: 00:33:14

support somebody else. Thank you so much for your time, Louis.

Unknown: 00:33:19

That was incredible. I think we covered everything we we want to

Unknown: 00:33:23

talk about. Is there one last thing you would like to share

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with us? Or do we just jump into next episode next week?

Unknown: 00:33:34

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. What’s coming to me right now is a

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quote from the Tao Zhang which is He who realizes that what he

Unknown: 00:33:48

has is enough, is truly rich. And you know, starting they’re

Unknown: 00:33:55

starting with gratitude and the understanding that you’re not

Unknown: 00:33:58

broken, everything is perfect. All things are working for good.

Unknown: 00:34:03

From the highest perspective. And, and this is it, there’s,

Unknown: 00:34:07

there’s nothing else you need to be do or have than, than who you

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are right now. Just Just concentrate on creating

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something that you love, or aligning with your purpose. And

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I promise you opportunities to do the work will show up along

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the way and just do the work. It’s okay, and find someone to

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help. Last piece. There’s an organization that I love. It’s a

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nonprofit that helps people in a lot of these ways and I’ve

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gotten a lot of my thinking around this from the

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organizations called Earth waking University. And they have

Unknown: 00:34:40

an event called awaken to life live, where you can go from

Unknown: 00:34:44

dark, depressed and suicidal as my someone who I deeply love did

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very recently, and come out the other side hopeful,

Unknown: 00:34:52

enthusiastic, clear, lit up. It’s free. Usually it’s $2,000

Unknown: 00:34:57

or it’s worth $2,000, but I’m able to give it away for free,

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it’s at bi T dot L y forward slash Awakened Life live all

Unknown: 00:35:05

lowercase, no spaces, I highly recommend you check it out. I

Unknown: 00:35:09

don’t make any money for recommending that people go.

Unknown: 00:35:12

It’s just like a gift and part of an organization that I think

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that if somebody wanted to take an action, right on what they’ve

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heard here, that would be sort of the best action that they

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could take. so wonderful.

Unknown: 00:35:25

We will make sure to put this in the show notes, and the link to

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your Facebook account or your web page. Of course. As always,

Unknown: 00:35:34

thank you so much for being here today. It was a great honor for

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all of us. You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for listening

Unknown: 00:35:45

to this interview. I will make sure to put all the things you

Unknown: 00:35:49

need to connect with Louise. If you’re interested in finding out

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more or maybe even book a coaching session with him. I’m

Unknown: 00:35:59

yeah, blown away. One more warrior. You know, I pick guys

Unknown: 00:36:07

intentionally to come onto my show hard driven leaders, to

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inspire us to give us hope, and to take the focus away from

Unknown: 00:36:16

aggressive bullies. And people who don’t spread as much

Unknown: 00:36:21

goodness as my warriors here. So I’m very excited to have Lewis

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on board. Enjoy the rest of your day. This was the Borealis

Unknown: 00:36:31

experience podcast for you with Aurora Eggert.