Aurora Eggert Coaching

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I’m your host Aurora, and I’m very excited to

be posting that interview for you today. My guest today is

Louis Brandtmeyer. Yes, I pronounce his last name the

German way. He probably pronounces it differently. But

brandtmeyer it is. He is a relationship coach and CEO and

founder of speak powerfully No. And it’s helping people to tap

into their potential to unlock their potential and to let go of

pain and suffering and restriction and suppression. He

is just, yeah, an incredible person. And I was wondering,

what is his story? You know how every hero goes through pain and

suffering and adversity. I wanted to dig a little deeper

and find out more about Louis today. So yeah, I’m very excited

to have you here now with me, introduce yourself to us. And

yeah, share your story. Gosh, well,

thank you so much for having me. And I really love the title.

super clever, I always appreciate a good fun. Yeah,

where to start goodness. I’ve gone through everything from

suicidal depression, and addiction, and anger issues, to

just being generally awkward and socially unclear on what to do

and how to relate to people or how to manage my own emotions.

And it’s led to a lot of chaos. When I was growing up, my father

abused my mother. And there were moments where things like, he

would beat her well, he was she was pregnant with my little

brother and just leave her to die on the floor. And then we’d

have a duck there was like a family doctor who came in and

luckily was like grumpy and angry and took care of her and

drew her out of this. And so this is the kind of environment

I grew up in. And, you know, consciously I don’t remember

much. But subconsciously, there were a lot of layers of fear and

terror and felt need to like, control my environment and

people around me, so that I could be safe with the

underlying belief that I wasn’t ultimately safe, either for

people to be around because I come from that dad, or that I

wasn’t safe, you know, just as an actor in the world, like

that, that at any moment, violence could occur at any

moment. You know, my tender heart could be sort of stumped

on, or like thrashed at. And of course, I didn’t know about any

of this. I grew up a precocious as I said, socially, awkward,

somewhat anxious, but nerdy, obsessed with science fiction,

deeply in love with, you know, Star Trek and Star Wars and all

of that sort of thing. And I found my way, you know, grammar

school, high school, I became super religious, and gave myself

to Catholicism. And that really helped a lot at the time, like

well, and eventually in college, and as I look back, there is a

clear pattern and pathway to and a method to the madness in my

life, up to that point where people were diagnosed with

autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, as I was which I go back and

forth on whether or not it’s even useful to bring that up

from time to time because I disagree with the diagnosis and

I’m more effective at sales and marketing and public speaking

and engaging with people than a lot of neuro typicals people who

aren’t diagnosed. So long story short, though, I found my

routines I found my people to emulate I found my style of

living. And it really wasn’t until later on, like after high

school, that profound sort of unworked ability and instability

and chaos in my behavior. And in my interactions and engagements

with people started to show itself and largely precipitated

by the use of marijuana and psychedelics. Right. So that

that was kind of an unleashing, of the dragon inside of me. Like

I started to become highly reactive and highly anxious and

the suicidal depression around not understanding how to be in

relationships and not understanding how to manage

relationships effectively like, like led to some really deep,

dark places. And how did I come out of it? Well,

my family, I can say they didn’t know how to handle it. My

mother, actually, no, the very first point of light on this

journey was about halfway through high school and very

high functioning autistic, right. So I was super brilliant,

super smart, made excellent grades. If anybody talked to me,

they knew that I knew a lot and that I was capable of a lot. And

they’re immediately like, Oh, yeah, he’s really smart. But

when it came to emotional intelligence, Hmm, I did not

have that. Whether it was self regulation, or again, social

intelligence, and managing emotions and connection. And I

dated someone who was working on being a psychologist and a

physical therapist. And at one point, after we broke up, she

recommended that I get tested to see if I was on the autism

spectrum. So I went to a cognitive behavioral therapist,

and I got the test and it came back that it was highly likely

that I was there, and I resisted the fuck out of that diagnosis.

I said, I’m normal. I’m not, you know, there’s nothing wrong with

me. I don’t think this is useful, and yet, um, threw

herself headlong into the research around things like

meltdowns, which, you know, I’ve come a little further along, and

I have new opinions on what actually causes this, that the

ultimate idea one of the ideas about autism is that autistic

people actually have more emotional sensitivity, they do

still have different brains, they just have more emotional

sensitivity than neurotypical which is, most people on the

standard deviation of how brains end up, right. And that that

enhanced sensitivity leads to if experiencing a trauma or a

moment where there’s intense emotion shutting down and having

decreased functionality. And this is a perfect match to my

experience. Now that I’ve done all sorts of work to heal,

because I’m deeply empathic and cry at movies, I cry at

everything, because I feel love and compassion and empathy and

the intensity of what other people are feeling in a way that

maybe they don’t, and maybe in a way that allows them to start to

allow those emotions and that energy up for healing and for

release and for letting go. And I never knew I would describe

myself as a healer, but that that is who and how I am now.

And it exists now in the context of a business development,

coaching practice. But I’m bringing in the element I’m

bringing back in the elements, both of live events that I had

an empowering Austin now, and also the elements of

Relationship Coaching, in order to have it just be a full

expression of all the gifts that are in my heart. But um, long

story short, I got the diagnosis, my mother understood

the diagnosis, my mother started to sort of gently suggest that,

you know, hey, Louis, you know, sometimes when you’re feeling

emotions, it’s going to be like, your your shirt is on fire.

Like, it’s not a normal sensation that other people get.

There’s, there’s like a sensory sensitivity that is deeper and

more painful than others. So you just be aware of that. And it

wasn’t until I got in trouble or came close, excuse me to getting

in trouble with the law, that I took a deep, strong hard look at

that and thought, Oh, yeah, I do have a brain that’s different

and a reactivity sort of sensitivity that other people

don’t and I get to manage that I get to honor that. And it was

somewhere. Actually, before that specific realization that I

suicidally depressed because of a breakup with a woman who I

deeply loved. And a friend of mine invited me very coyly very

cleverly, to her graduation, quote unquote. And as luck would

have it, if it was in fact a graduation from a communications

course with the basically the world leader in transformation

or Personal Growth Training and Development landmark worldwide.

And it to me was the gateway into a whole world of self work

of gaining tools for communication, gaining tools for

emotional self mastery and intelligence, healing, pockets

of trapped energy and emotion in the body. And over the course of

the next seven or eight years, I had ups and downs. But I also

went into entrepreneurship, which forced everything up, they

say, if you want to deal with your shit, become an

entrepreneur or go into like, get into a relationship

conscious relationship, or both. And I was doing both for a good

portion of that time. And thus had a lot of my my shit to look

at and cancel clear on shit. I don’t believe that there’s

anything wrong with anyone on the planet, you are not broken.

There’s, there’s no shit that’s there for you to heal. There’s

just ultimately resistance that we have perfectly created in

perfect divine order and perfect timing, to protect us from pain,

and to help us achieve more satisfaction that gets stored in

our bodies as beliefs as perspectives as perceptions. And

yet, it’s up to us to do the work to release that resistance

in alliance with our superconscious mind or through

healing or energy work. And so the more I’ve done to heal, the

more recent sanitized, I’ve gotten the better results I’ve

gotten in terms of health, and wealth and relationships and

happiness and spiritual connection in purpose and

leadership, all of it. Because I and I’d say How did I get out of

it? Well, I started to take 100% responsibility for my experience

for my reality, and started to say, Well, I’m going to do it.

That’s it period. And it was really the desire to have a

successful business. And to do whatever it took, like what was

the carrot on the end of my stick that took me through all

the zigzags and all the hard work and all the pain because I

used to wear a shirt that says spiritual masochist. Because you

know, we’re not here to feel happy, we’re here to feel fully.

And if we feel fully, then we can feel happy, because feelings

buried alive, never die. And we get to, you know, stew in them

or move through them, and allow them up and feel them. And so

yeah, I did a lot of that work. And it It wasn’t fun all the

time. But the other side of it always was, I always felt

better. And it became a positive addiction. So when I talk about

addiction, by the way, I was pornography over the course of

15 years, that I only very recently cleaned up. And so my

personal belief to anyone dealing with mental issues, or

mental health or emotional chaos, or depression or suicidal

thoughts, is figure out what your purpose is on this planet.

What’s your message to countries who you are for the world, and

embrace that fully, and get devoted to that fully. We’re

here to give to be a fountain, not a dream. And when we step

into that consciousness, that awareness that we’re here to

create, and to give, and we create, you know, in my world,

entrepreneurship really is the vehicle for that. But it could

be not a nonprofit, it could be serving some organization or

group. For me, it was just like the carrot on to the end, the

end of the stick was I’m going to live my purpose, I’m going to

do it. That’s it period. And anything that gets in the way

inside of me, I’m going to pull the weeds from my garden and

find a clear space and state of my birth, what I consider to be

my birthright of bliss, peace, love and joy, and compassion and

act from there. So anyway, that’s that’s kind of the broad

overview. You know, in a nutshell, how did that land for

you?

That was amazing. What I yeah, especially loved is what you

just said with the weeds that you pull out your internal weeds

because I feel a lot of times we take our past our circumstances

or other people as excuse like external circumstances as an

excuse to not do our work. Because it is so hard to look at

yourself and to see our shit. I can change that behavior. I can

work on that pain and let go of these emotions. It’s way easier

to say Oh, I can’t do this because I’m so damaged and so

burned from my past that Yeah, I don’t know what my purpose is.

So to not take the external as an excuse and to really go deep

and Feel what is inside of you, and then bring it out. I can

also imagine that when you grew up as a child that you were very

anxious and you were always, I don’t know, waiting for the next

catastrophe to to happen. And that way, that’s why it was your

intelligence, your protection, to numb out the strong feelings.

But feelings that we suppress, kind of, yeah, clog up our heart

and our whole being. And you were able to, to get out of it

and free yourself from it. And yeah, it’s Wow, I’m blown away.

It’s a very, very strong story. And it all makes sense, like

everything you say, all makes sense, and is very easy to

listen to. I just wonder now. So if you’re still struggling with

like, thoughts, negative thoughts, negative self image?

What would you recommend? is the first step to take when when

you’re very still very insecure with who you are? Hmm.

Yeah, there are a couple things. I mean, every for everything

from the landmark forum, which they’re now doing online, as I

understand, I think it’s like 700 bucks or something super

worth it, to surrounding yourself with the people who you

want to be, or be like or become, right. So coaching was a

big part of the profound transformation from deep, not

happy, negative thinking to positive thinking. We can never

underestimate or more overestimate, frankly, the power

of having someone so so your nervous system is conditioned in

a certain way. We all carry a pool of poison and pain, called

the past as trauma stored in our bodies stored as thought form

stored as literal like sometimes people overeat in order to

protect themselves or to shove emotions down, for example. So

there could be literal fat cells and deposits, blocking people

from feeling what’s there. And yeah, one of the things that I

did was just start getting out of my head and into

communication. Humans are meant to be in action. And in

communication, we always flourish and function better and

find more flowing and joy, if we’re in communication. So you

know, I don’t love Alcoholics Anonymous, because, or those

sorts of programs because they use our sacred word to affirm

over and over daily, I’m an addict, quote, unquote, cancel

clear, which you’ll notice that I use my language very

carefully, in order to not have anything dropped into my

subconscious, that I don’t agree with, and

but long story short, we become the average of our five best

friends. And when our nervous system is muddled, or mucked up

by some trauma trigger, if we simply get into communication

with someone else, who’s willing to listen, and to hear us speak

without judgment, without reaction without trying to fix

or change, or transform anything, who is just there to

what we used to call a landmark, recreate, like to listen for,

what was the person actually saying? What is the emotion

behind the words? And what is the commitment behind the words.

So I would call up one of my dear friends, over and over

anxious, angry, frustrated, reactive, because a day had gone

wrong or financial situation was not right or whatever, and he

would just listen. And we, as humans, we often don’t listen,

we’re listening to respond instead of to understand we’re

listening to react instead of be fully present to the embodied

communication of another. And you can tell this when you are

speaking to somebody, like and I’ll just ask you, have you ever

felt the difference when you’re talking to somebody and they,

they’ve got your full attention? And you because of that you

light up and you get more excited and you have more energy

and enthusiasm versus when you’re talking to somebody and

they’re kind of distracted? They’re not really listening?

They’re like, Yeah, okay. Yeah, it’s it’s prohibitive, like it

tunes the energy down. Does this match your experience, by the

way? Oh, absolutely. Just yesterday, I had an experience

yet. Hmm. So yeah, the power of listening and getting what we

call it Committed listener. It’s it’s a step on the way to having

a coach By the way, but it is something that anybody can do at

any time in any place in the world is create what we, we used

to call an 18. A group of people who always listen to you as as

your highest self, rather than as the lowest common denominator

of your thoughts and feelings, which we often in landmark they

used to say, your mind is a bad neighborhood, it’s okay to visit

but you don’t want to live there. You don’t want to stay

there. Now. As I become a coach, yeah, as I become a coach, I’ve

discovered that the more weeds I pull from my subconscious

garden, again, the more I ally, myself, superconscious, mind and

heal, the more My thoughts are actually supportive and

empowering, I barely have negative thoughts. In my

personal experience, I have moments when I’m triggered, and

and that’s when I have negative thoughts. But the great majority

of my experience is uplifting, hopeful, optimistic, willing,

active, empowered, responsible, respectful, loving, gentle,

kind. And those are all things that you can build yourself

through just doing deeper and deeper layers and levels of

healing work. So you know, the first step for somebody who’s

just like dealing with garden variety, negative thoughts, or

mental trauma or emotional chaos, is to assemble your team

of Avengers of superheroes around you who you can call up

maybe three or three to five at any time, like you can call one

of them. If they’re not available. You call the next one

and just say, hey, do you have space? And here’s the thing, you

want it to be a contribution to them. You don’t want to be that

guy who calls every every other day and says, I’m dealing with

shit. Will you listen to me vent? No, it’s different. It’s

different than that. It’s calling somebody after making an

agreement to be that for them first. Giving them the gift of

being that for them first, and then calling them with the

intention to let go and clear, which is very different from

Yeah, go ahead. What are you hearing?

Okay, I’m hearing that. Okay, you experienced those feelings,

you experienced that negativity, but you call your friend, you’re

a team with the intention to give to somebody else. What do

you need?

Like, well, so it’s, it’s subtle. It’s subtler than that.

Okay. The the way that I established the relationship

where they’d always be willing to answer the phone, is by

giving them and promising to be what I’m asking them to be for

them first. Ah, yes. So that’s the first step. So there’s an

energetic balance, there’s respect, there’s responsibility.

There’s two adults coming together rather than one person

looking for a hero, because there’s two ways you can be in

the world. There’s Go ahead, go ahead.

No, no, no, no, I’m just so fascinated. I’ve never heard

that before. There’s two, yes.

Two ways. There’s creator or consumer. And a creator realizes

they’re 100% responsible for their health, wealth, happiness,

relationships, and spiritual connection, their leadership,

everything that they want to have be or do in the world or in

their life is up to them. If it is to be it depends on me, as we

say, the entrepreneurs credo, right. And yet, we’re taught by

teachers, preachers, family, friends, media and government,

that we’re not good enough. We’re not capable, we can’t do

it. We’re unworthy. We have to look to external authorities

outside of ourselves to figure out how to get rich or powerful,

or these authorities. This programming that we received

from society and culture tells us to get rich tells us to have

a relationship that looks a certain way tells us that

happiness only comes while you’re drinking a coke, for

example, on commercials, right? And so that’s, that’s what

created to create the condition to consume. And there are very

specific ways in which we’re going to consume. We’re

conditioned to consume as heroes who prove our worthiness to be

loved or our value through rescuing people. And always

needing someone who is less than us, for us to rescue. We consume

through being a victim. Woe is me. There’s something wrong with

me. I need someone to save me please call me and listen to me

vent so that I’m going to be okay at the end of it like that.

There’s a subtlety there, right? Why I’m going through this whole

thing. It’s like it’s not that when you call someone else on

your team, and you can also be a villain, which so if somebody

really desperately wants love, but they’ve decided they can’t

get What’s the next best thing significance and see you, I

promise you, I promise you someone who walks into a bank,

in a mask with a gun and waves that around, they feel

significant when people start raising their hands and backing

away and, and so being a villain is another way of and all three

of these positions hero, victim and villain are about consuming

other people’s energy rather than realizing Wait I’m I’m a

power plant, I generate energy, I don’t need to take energy from

other people. I don’t need to get anything from anyone, in

order to be fully empowered or happy or successful. And yet, at

the same time, we have traumas stored in our nervous system.

And, you know, it’s difficult for us because suffering is pain

multiplied by resistance. So we have pain from past traumas that

we resist that we suppress that we push down that we what’s

called pack and stack, we layer them on top of each other. And

then we’re walking around, like, like somebody who’s whose hands

are full of splinters, and we go to shake somebody’s hand and it

hurts us, because we’ve got something inside that we haven’t

dug out. So so most people most of the time walking around,

they’re a walking ball of emotional splinters, where every

step they take, they react. And our birthright is bliss is peace

is love and joy, if we can get back to that primal innocent

state, through doing the work of healing, and so on, you’re a

team with your committed listener, you’re not calling

them up as a victim, you’re not calling them up to make them a

hero. You’re also not calling them up to make them a villain

when they don’t respond the way that you want them to. I learned

that lesson too. I didn’t know that I was operating from the

victim villain because you can be a victim hero or victim

villain. And I lost some friendships that way in the

process of practicing this, or added a lot of stress and

pressure to some really sweet like super contributory generous

people. Because I wasn’t sensitive to it. So

you know, when I say and communicate and begin to touch

and stay and feel with deep pain and emotional trauma in my body,

in my energy system, it can be overwhelming, it can be intense.

But if someone else is listening, if someone else is

paying attention, then they can apply mindfulness and

equanimity, which are terms from Buddhism, precision in

awareness, and allowing or non resistance like indifference to

the physical sensations that I’m experiencing in a way that I

can’t, as as a reactive stimulus response mechanism, right? We’re

all mammals, and we all like put a hand on a hot stove, and we we

launched back, right. So it takes something but it doesn’t

take that much. Like, one of my primary jobs as a coach is to

just be fully present for people. And when I’m just fully

present, whatever needs to happen will happen. Whatever

needs to come up will come up, no matter what somebody is

feeling, anger, sadness, grief, depression, anxiety, whatever,

it can help them to step into their full power and authority

to feel through. And on the other side, that resistance that

they’re holding on to gets let go of, and the the

quintessential expression of how to do this yourself or how to

employ, so to speak, a committed listener to do this is in David

Hawkins, his book, letting go the pathway of surrender. He’s

an MD and a PhD. And his work is amazing. I was handed the book

by the former CEO of the third largest real estate company in

the world. And he said, Here is a key to my success. And I was

like, Mind blown because I had been around, you know, new agey

hippies for years talking about feel your feelings and focus on

visualize what you want. And it wasn’t until the really

successful, fulfilled wealthy, rich and accomplished

entrepreneurs around me started saying, hey, this, this is what

I did. This is how it works. Like, you need to feel your

feelings you need to get emotionally intelligent. And so

yeah, if I were to quit, how I was successful, or how I went

from mentally unstable and chaotic, and dissatisfied, and

depressed and dark, and all of that too successful on

accomplished and helping people around the world become the same

way. I would say it’s emotional intelligence. And I would say

it’s also spiritual intelligence. Because there’s

something going on in this universe that’s more than us

more than our little egos. And whether you call it God or

superconscious, mind or source or spirit or infinite

intelligence. I don’t care I’m just checking in, like, like,

imagine there’s a higher perspective and you we talked

about my my picture on the wall, my artwork right earlier, you

can’t see the picture while you’re inside of it. And we’re

inside of a picture. We’re inside of a grand story, we’re

inside of a grand adventure that is meant to work out a certain

way. If we surrender if we align with our purpose, our highest

good our intuition, and some of those things took me many years,

I started Catholic and then I became atheist for a long time.

And then I just recently wrote a post about how I often while

dancing the EDM, find myself kneeling, and facedown in prayer

on my carpet weeping, because I can feel my own connection with

a higher power infinite intelligence that that helps me

as a vehicle for grace, to unleash people’s souls and

hearts from deep trauma and pain and resistance. And it’s it’s a

profound, profound gift. And, and I’m grateful that I’ve done

the work to be able to embody that level of love. And I mean,

I have to say this too, I’m not always perfect, I lash out at

people, I get angry, I get frustrated, I get anxious. From

time to time, I’d say like, maybe five times a week, on

average, like, which is probably distinctly super, super low

compared to most of humanity. But I have tools for digging

myself out within 10 minutes to 30 minutes. And as an example,

just before this call, one of my clients was like, Hey, where’s

this thing. And by the way, you didn’t say that you didn’t put

this thing in this folder on Dropbox and, and I felt anxious,

I was like, Oh, I’m not perfect. My core wound of the the

original identity of I’m not perfect, got triggered. So I

just sat with it, put my hand on my stomach, and said, Hi,

breathe.

I touch this sadness, this anxiety. I feel I stay. And I

love speaking to the inner child speaking to, to that version of

me that was reacting, and then it cleared. So I mean, you can

do the work yourself. You can do the work with others,

ultimately, do the work. And you’ll have more bliss, peace,

love, joy and accomplishment and better relationships than you

could have ever imagined.

Ah, Louis, thank you so much for sharing all of this, like I know

you, you brought so much value just now to people who maybe

have never been in touch with spirituality and empowerment and

self growth. What I forgot to mention at the beginning, this

is only part one of Lewis brand Maya. Next time, we will

continue this conversation and maybe dive deeper into porn

addiction and relationship coach how to? Yeah, go from trauma and

pain into loving yourself and then being able to love and

support somebody else. Thank you so much for your time, Louis.

That was incredible. I think we covered everything we we want to

talk about. Is there one last thing you would like to share

with us? Or do we just jump into next episode next week?

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. What’s coming to me right now is a

quote from the Tao Zhang which is He who realizes that what he

has is enough, is truly rich. And you know, starting they’re

starting with gratitude and the understanding that you’re not

broken, everything is perfect. All things are working for good.

From the highest perspective. And, and this is it, there’s,

there’s nothing else you need to be do or have than, than who you

are right now. Just Just concentrate on creating

something that you love, or aligning with your purpose. And

I promise you opportunities to do the work will show up along

the way and just do the work. It’s okay, and find someone to

help. Last piece. There’s an organization that I love. It’s a

nonprofit that helps people in a lot of these ways and I’ve

gotten a lot of my thinking around this from the

organizations called Earth waking University. And they have

an event called awaken to life live, where you can go from

dark, depressed and suicidal as my someone who I deeply love did

very recently, and come out the other side hopeful,

enthusiastic, clear, lit up. It’s free. Usually it’s $2,000

or it’s worth $2,000, but I’m able to give it away for free,

it’s at bi T dot L y forward slash Awakened Life live all

lowercase, no spaces, I highly recommend you check it out. I

don’t make any money for recommending that people go.

It’s just like a gift and part of an organization that I think

that if somebody wanted to take an action, right on what they’ve

heard here, that would be sort of the best action that they

could take. so wonderful.

We will make sure to put this in the show notes, and the link to

your Facebook account or your web page. Of course. As always,

thank you so much for being here today. It was a great honor for

all of us. You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for listening

to this interview. I will make sure to put all the things you

need to connect with Louise. If you’re interested in finding out

more or maybe even book a coaching session with him. I’m

yeah, blown away. One more warrior. You know, I pick guys

intentionally to come onto my show hard driven leaders, to

inspire us to give us hope, and to take the focus away from

aggressive bullies. And people who don’t spread as much

goodness as my warriors here. So I’m very excited to have Lewis

on board. Enjoy the rest of your day. This was the Borealis

experience podcast for you with Aurora Eggert.