Hey there,
Is it possible to receive the approval from someone who doesn’t want to give us his/her approval ?
In this episode you will find out what to do 🙂
Thank you so much for listening
With care ,
Aurora
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Transcript
hello hello and welcome to the borealis experience i’m
Unknown:your host aurora and i hope you’re doing well i hope
Unknown:everything is fine and if not spoil yourself to a little bit
Unknown:of relaxation reset focusing on yourself with me here today i’m
Unknown:so grateful to have you here i’m so grateful yeah to share some
Unknown:time with you here so maybe sit down on a couch
Unknown:or
Unknown:go for a walk or whatever is good for you now in the next 15
Unknown:minutes if you’re driving or operating machinery please be
Unknown:careful or listen to my podcast afterwards and if you are on any
Unknown:medication be it for physical health or mental health please
Unknown:talk to your practitioner and before you make any changes i’m
Unknown:here to guide you but i’m not a healer i’m not replacing
Unknown:traditional medicine thank you today i want to talk about
Unknown:approval and how can we receive approval
Unknown:from people
Unknown:i’m sure you have people in your life
Unknown:that
Unknown:are loyal cheerleaders and understand you and see you and
Unknown:whatever you approach or do ideas you have there are happy
Unknown:for you and want you to succeed maybe you have a couple of those
Unknown:friends or family members or maybe you have just one or two
Unknown:and maybe have absolutely none but i’m sure we all have that
Unknown:person in our life that understands us and wants our
Unknown:success and best interest but what if we seek approval from
Unknown:people that don’t approve of what we’re doing and of who we
Unknown:are and of where we want to be in the future that’s a very
Unknown:tricky place to be and if you are only surrounded by those
Unknown:people then you can pretty much see how negatively it affects
Unknown:your mental health and maybe even your physical health
Unknown:already your emotional health for sure the thing is we can
Unknown:change people we can slightly influence people but if they’re
Unknown:not ready and willing to give us approval of us or of what we
Unknown:want to do then it is a very tough pill to swallow because
Unknown:there’s nothing really you can do the only thing you can change
Unknown:is yourself and today i want to show you how how can you be more
Unknown:at peace with people who don’t want to give you the approval
Unknown:that you need so much to succeed first of all i want to tell you
Unknown:you don’t need these people to succeed you only need the people
Unknown:who encourage you on your path who inspire you and who have the
Unknown:skills and maybe the tool said to bring you further in that
Unknown:direction you want to go the other people are maybe not there
Unknown:yet or they don’t understand you they don’t get you they don’t
Unknown:understand why you’re doing what you’re doing and for them it’s
Unknown:also a place of power to be in because if they can sense that
Unknown:you need the approval of them to succeed there’s people out there
Unknown:who will take advantage of them and even relish in that position
Unknown:because you give them so much power Is that fair to yourself?
Unknown:Is that okay? To be so dependent on someone else’s approval? I
Unknown:want to clarify too, that I’m talking about your career, your
Unknown:romantic relationships? Do your people approve of your partner?
Unknown:Do your people approve of the career you want to take? I’m not
Unknown:talking about self destructive behavior, where people who love
Unknown:you would, of course not support you to engage in those
Unknown:activities. I’m talking about. I’m going to give you an
Unknown:example. that’s easiest. So last night, I decided to host a life
Unknown:show on Facebook today. So yesterday, I talked to my
Unknown:grandma, and I tried to explain to her What a podcast is and
Unknown:what I’m doing, because for the last couple of weeks, she saw
Unknown:that I’m often on my laptop and very busy doing stuff. But she
Unknown:didn’t really, yeah, ask questions. And I also didn’t
Unknown:have the energy to explain to her what I was doing, because I
Unknown:knew what her answer was going to be. But yesterday, I decided
Unknown:to be open and to share with her what I’m doing,
Unknown:and to share with her what her life show is on Facebook. And
Unknown:the response that I received didn’t surprise me at all. She
Unknown:said, What makes you think that you have something to say that
Unknown:other people need out there? And that other people don’t know
Unknown:yet? You never studied? Anything in that field? You studied
Unknown:physiotherapy and agriculture? So what the heck are you
Unknown:actually doing there. And in that moment, I was able to fly
Unknown:into birds perspective and to see what was going on in my
Unknown:brain. To see how I would have reacted in the past, very
Unknown:defensive, and then being alone at night, I would have had like
Unknown:crippling self doubt, and really shitty feelings coming up. But
Unknown:in that moment, I decided, Oh, she is not ready to support me,
Unknown:she doesn’t understand what I’m doing there. And she also
Unknown:doesn’t really know who I am on a deeper level. And this is my
Unknown:fault. I don’t share certain things with her because she
Unknown:speaks French and French is my third language. And it’s more
Unknown:difficult for me to express myself and that language. And
Unknown:I’m maybe a little bit lazy there. And she doesn’t know how
Unknown:passionate I am about self improvement and meditation and
Unknown:helping others to grow and to lift others up this generation.
Unknown:She grew up and was focused on survival, and supporting the
Unknown:neighbor with baked goods, and shelter, and many, many more
Unknown:things. But podcasting was definitely not. So in that
Unknown:moment, I was able to not react like I would have in the past
Unknown:and to just be okay and to trust that she can support me in other
Unknown:ways. She can listen to me talk about the chickens and the dogs
Unknown:and she can cook lunch for me and I can give her foot massage,
Unknown:and we can be there for each other on a different level. But
Unknown:I don’t seek that approval from her anymore. When it comes to my
Unknown:job. Because she is
Unknown:my
Unknown:relative because she’s close to me. That kind of pressure I
Unknown:don’t put on her anymore And ever since our relationship is
Unknown:very good. I don’t have that resentment against her anymore.
Unknown:And I keep doing what I think is best for my listeners and for my
Unknown:path here. And it is all good. And I know there’s more people
Unknown:out there who cheer for me than people out there who want to
Unknown:bring me down or not
Unknown:support
Unknown:support me. So it is all okay. So when we talk about
Unknown:resilience, I also want to talk about that approval thing
Unknown:because I feel a lot of people don’t come out of your other
Unknown:closet because they feel they’d be alone then and rejected and
Unknown:yeah there might be people who reject you and push you away but
Unknown:only because they are not there yet and they don’t understand
Unknown:you and they only operate from their perspective and have not
Unknown:the ability to be emotionally intelligent enough to see what
Unknown:is going inside going inside of you but there’s so many people
Unknown:out there that feel the same and that want to do the same as you
Unknown:and are just as scared as you and if you decide not to come
Unknown:out and not to be brave and follow your path then you
Unknown:basically let down these other people too because if you were
Unknown:to go out you would show them that it is possible and then
Unknown:it’s scary what you do it anyways so it is a very brave
Unknown:courageous thing to do but you can’t force people to approve of
Unknown:you you can just be very honest with yourself and continue on
Unknown:your path and in doing so inspiring other people to and
Unknown:maybe take a little bit of fear out of their situation so this
Unknown:was about approval receiving approval from someone who
Unknown:doesn’t want to give it to you you put them in a position of
Unknown:power that they don’t necessarily need and you put
Unknown:yourself in a kind of victim position and small position
Unknown:where you don’t necessarily belong so step out there and be
Unknown:brave and show who you are and there will be enough people
Unknown:receiving you and your idea that he can
Unknown:you can do it i believe you can and people who don’t want to
Unknown:give us the approval are not necessarily evil just see them
Unknown:as people who are challenging you and testing you it’s like a
Unknown:test
Unknown:as if it was to ask you do you really want that how badly how
Unknown:desperately do you want to go down that road how desperately
Unknown:do you love that person but you know your parents are not going
Unknown:to improve her desperately do you want that job but you know
Unknown:your people will feel let down because it is not what the
Unknown:family was doing in previous generations and if you do it
Unknown:with a genuine heart if you do it with an honest honest like
Unknown:mind and attitude and out of a pure intention then they will
Unknown:eventually come around and look at you and be proud of you
Unknown:because maybe then they will see how hard it was for you and they
Unknown:will be proud of you and they will see that other people are
Unknown:cheering for you and maybe feel a little bad that they didn’t
Unknown:cheer for you at the beginning but it’s okay you can forgive
Unknown:that and if they don’t want to be there for you if they don’t
Unknown:approve of what you’re doing then it is okay to because you
Unknown:have to look for the people who support you who inspire you and
Unknown:the other people you can keep close and connect on different
Unknown:levels thank you so much for listening to this episode today
Unknown:i hope i can make you feel more empowered with the ideas you
Unknown:want to do the fear you might have to face to feel alone no
Unknown:wit and fear rejected it is so worth it if you intend to do
Unknown:something that is serving others and comes from a place of
Unknown:genuine love then go ahead don’t hold back and start
Unknown:brainstorming you were listening to the borealis experience i’m
Unknown:your host aurora and i’m very happy to be serving you this way
Unknown:i hope you are in a good place and if you’re not then spoil
Unknown:yourself to a couple of meditations here and i’m sure
Unknown:they will make you feel better until next time alive
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