Aurora Eggert Coaching

hello hello and welcome to the borealis experience i’m

your host aurora and i hope you’re doing well i hope

everything is fine and if not spoil yourself to a little bit

of relaxation reset focusing on yourself with me here today i’m

so grateful to have you here i’m so grateful yeah to share some

time with you here so maybe sit down on a couch

or

go for a walk or whatever is good for you now in the next 15

minutes if you’re driving or operating machinery please be

careful or listen to my podcast afterwards and if you are on any

medication be it for physical health or mental health please

talk to your practitioner and before you make any changes i’m

here to guide you but i’m not a healer i’m not replacing

traditional medicine thank you today i want to talk about

approval and how can we receive approval

from people

i’m sure you have people in your life

that

are loyal cheerleaders and understand you and see you and

whatever you approach or do ideas you have there are happy

for you and want you to succeed maybe you have a couple of those

friends or family members or maybe you have just one or two

and maybe have absolutely none but i’m sure we all have that

person in our life that understands us and wants our

success and best interest but what if we seek approval from

people that don’t approve of what we’re doing and of who we

are and of where we want to be in the future that’s a very

tricky place to be and if you are only surrounded by those

people then you can pretty much see how negatively it affects

your mental health and maybe even your physical health

already your emotional health for sure the thing is we can

change people we can slightly influence people but if they’re

not ready and willing to give us approval of us or of what we

want to do then it is a very tough pill to swallow because

there’s nothing really you can do the only thing you can change

is yourself and today i want to show you how how can you be more

at peace with people who don’t want to give you the approval

that you need so much to succeed first of all i want to tell you

you don’t need these people to succeed you only need the people

who encourage you on your path who inspire you and who have the

skills and maybe the tool said to bring you further in that

direction you want to go the other people are maybe not there

yet or they don’t understand you they don’t get you they don’t

understand why you’re doing what you’re doing and for them it’s

also a place of power to be in because if they can sense that

you need the approval of them to succeed there’s people out there

who will take advantage of them and even relish in that position

because you give them so much power Is that fair to yourself?

Is that okay? To be so dependent on someone else’s approval? I

want to clarify too, that I’m talking about your career, your

romantic relationships? Do your people approve of your partner?

Do your people approve of the career you want to take? I’m not

talking about self destructive behavior, where people who love

you would, of course not support you to engage in those

activities. I’m talking about. I’m going to give you an

example. that’s easiest. So last night, I decided to host a life

show on Facebook today. So yesterday, I talked to my

grandma, and I tried to explain to her What a podcast is and

what I’m doing, because for the last couple of weeks, she saw

that I’m often on my laptop and very busy doing stuff. But she

didn’t really, yeah, ask questions. And I also didn’t

have the energy to explain to her what I was doing, because I

knew what her answer was going to be. But yesterday, I decided

to be open and to share with her what I’m doing,

and to share with her what her life show is on Facebook. And

the response that I received didn’t surprise me at all. She

said, What makes you think that you have something to say that

other people need out there? And that other people don’t know

yet? You never studied? Anything in that field? You studied

physiotherapy and agriculture? So what the heck are you

actually doing there. And in that moment, I was able to fly

into birds perspective and to see what was going on in my

brain. To see how I would have reacted in the past, very

defensive, and then being alone at night, I would have had like

crippling self doubt, and really shitty feelings coming up. But

in that moment, I decided, Oh, she is not ready to support me,

she doesn’t understand what I’m doing there. And she also

doesn’t really know who I am on a deeper level. And this is my

fault. I don’t share certain things with her because she

speaks French and French is my third language. And it’s more

difficult for me to express myself and that language. And

I’m maybe a little bit lazy there. And she doesn’t know how

passionate I am about self improvement and meditation and

helping others to grow and to lift others up this generation.

She grew up and was focused on survival, and supporting the

neighbor with baked goods, and shelter, and many, many more

things. But podcasting was definitely not. So in that

moment, I was able to not react like I would have in the past

and to just be okay and to trust that she can support me in other

ways. She can listen to me talk about the chickens and the dogs

and she can cook lunch for me and I can give her foot massage,

and we can be there for each other on a different level. But

I don’t seek that approval from her anymore. When it comes to my

job. Because she is

my

relative because she’s close to me. That kind of pressure I

don’t put on her anymore And ever since our relationship is

very good. I don’t have that resentment against her anymore.

And I keep doing what I think is best for my listeners and for my

path here. And it is all good. And I know there’s more people

out there who cheer for me than people out there who want to

bring me down or not

support

support me. So it is all okay. So when we talk about

resilience, I also want to talk about that approval thing

because I feel a lot of people don’t come out of your other

closet because they feel they’d be alone then and rejected and

yeah there might be people who reject you and push you away but

only because they are not there yet and they don’t understand

you and they only operate from their perspective and have not

the ability to be emotionally intelligent enough to see what

is going inside going inside of you but there’s so many people

out there that feel the same and that want to do the same as you

and are just as scared as you and if you decide not to come

out and not to be brave and follow your path then you

basically let down these other people too because if you were

to go out you would show them that it is possible and then

it’s scary what you do it anyways so it is a very brave

courageous thing to do but you can’t force people to approve of

you you can just be very honest with yourself and continue on

your path and in doing so inspiring other people to and

maybe take a little bit of fear out of their situation so this

was about approval receiving approval from someone who

doesn’t want to give it to you you put them in a position of

power that they don’t necessarily need and you put

yourself in a kind of victim position and small position

where you don’t necessarily belong so step out there and be

brave and show who you are and there will be enough people

receiving you and your idea that he can

you can do it i believe you can and people who don’t want to

give us the approval are not necessarily evil just see them

as people who are challenging you and testing you it’s like a

test

as if it was to ask you do you really want that how badly how

desperately do you want to go down that road how desperately

do you love that person but you know your parents are not going

to improve her desperately do you want that job but you know

your people will feel let down because it is not what the

family was doing in previous generations and if you do it

with a genuine heart if you do it with an honest honest like

mind and attitude and out of a pure intention then they will

eventually come around and look at you and be proud of you

because maybe then they will see how hard it was for you and they

will be proud of you and they will see that other people are

cheering for you and maybe feel a little bad that they didn’t

cheer for you at the beginning but it’s okay you can forgive

that and if they don’t want to be there for you if they don’t

approve of what you’re doing then it is okay to because you

have to look for the people who support you who inspire you and

the other people you can keep close and connect on different

levels thank you so much for listening to this episode today

i hope i can make you feel more empowered with the ideas you

want to do the fear you might have to face to feel alone no

wit and fear rejected it is so worth it if you intend to do

something that is serving others and comes from a place of

genuine love then go ahead don’t hold back and start

brainstorming you were listening to the borealis experience i’m

your host aurora and i’m very happy to be serving you this way

i hope you are in a good place and if you’re not then spoil

yourself to a couple of meditations here and i’m sure

they will make you feel better until next time alive