Aurora Eggert Coaching

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hello hello and welcome to the borealis experience i’m

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your host aurora and i hope you’re doing well i hope

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everything is fine and if not spoil yourself to a little bit

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of relaxation reset focusing on yourself with me here today i’m

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so grateful to have you here i’m so grateful yeah to share some

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time with you here so maybe sit down on a couch

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or

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go for a walk or whatever is good for you now in the next 15

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minutes if you’re driving or operating machinery please be

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careful or listen to my podcast afterwards and if you are on any

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medication be it for physical health or mental health please

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talk to your practitioner and before you make any changes i’m

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here to guide you but i’m not a healer i’m not replacing

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traditional medicine thank you today i want to talk about

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approval and how can we receive approval

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from people

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i’m sure you have people in your life

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that

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are loyal cheerleaders and understand you and see you and

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whatever you approach or do ideas you have there are happy

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for you and want you to succeed maybe you have a couple of those

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friends or family members or maybe you have just one or two

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and maybe have absolutely none but i’m sure we all have that

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person in our life that understands us and wants our

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success and best interest but what if we seek approval from

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people that don’t approve of what we’re doing and of who we

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are and of where we want to be in the future that’s a very

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tricky place to be and if you are only surrounded by those

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people then you can pretty much see how negatively it affects

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your mental health and maybe even your physical health

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already your emotional health for sure the thing is we can

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change people we can slightly influence people but if they’re

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not ready and willing to give us approval of us or of what we

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want to do then it is a very tough pill to swallow because

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there’s nothing really you can do the only thing you can change

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is yourself and today i want to show you how how can you be more

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at peace with people who don’t want to give you the approval

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that you need so much to succeed first of all i want to tell you

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you don’t need these people to succeed you only need the people

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who encourage you on your path who inspire you and who have the

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skills and maybe the tool said to bring you further in that

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direction you want to go the other people are maybe not there

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yet or they don’t understand you they don’t get you they don’t

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understand why you’re doing what you’re doing and for them it’s

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also a place of power to be in because if they can sense that

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you need the approval of them to succeed there’s people out there

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who will take advantage of them and even relish in that position

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because you give them so much power Is that fair to yourself?

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Is that okay? To be so dependent on someone else’s approval? I

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want to clarify too, that I’m talking about your career, your

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romantic relationships? Do your people approve of your partner?

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Do your people approve of the career you want to take? I’m not

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talking about self destructive behavior, where people who love

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you would, of course not support you to engage in those

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activities. I’m talking about. I’m going to give you an

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example. that’s easiest. So last night, I decided to host a life

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show on Facebook today. So yesterday, I talked to my

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grandma, and I tried to explain to her What a podcast is and

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what I’m doing, because for the last couple of weeks, she saw

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that I’m often on my laptop and very busy doing stuff. But she

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didn’t really, yeah, ask questions. And I also didn’t

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have the energy to explain to her what I was doing, because I

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knew what her answer was going to be. But yesterday, I decided

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to be open and to share with her what I’m doing,

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and to share with her what her life show is on Facebook. And

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the response that I received didn’t surprise me at all. She

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said, What makes you think that you have something to say that

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other people need out there? And that other people don’t know

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yet? You never studied? Anything in that field? You studied

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physiotherapy and agriculture? So what the heck are you

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actually doing there. And in that moment, I was able to fly

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into birds perspective and to see what was going on in my

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brain. To see how I would have reacted in the past, very

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defensive, and then being alone at night, I would have had like

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crippling self doubt, and really shitty feelings coming up. But

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in that moment, I decided, Oh, she is not ready to support me,

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she doesn’t understand what I’m doing there. And she also

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doesn’t really know who I am on a deeper level. And this is my

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fault. I don’t share certain things with her because she

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speaks French and French is my third language. And it’s more

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difficult for me to express myself and that language. And

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I’m maybe a little bit lazy there. And she doesn’t know how

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passionate I am about self improvement and meditation and

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helping others to grow and to lift others up this generation.

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She grew up and was focused on survival, and supporting the

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neighbor with baked goods, and shelter, and many, many more

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things. But podcasting was definitely not. So in that

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moment, I was able to not react like I would have in the past

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and to just be okay and to trust that she can support me in other

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ways. She can listen to me talk about the chickens and the dogs

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and she can cook lunch for me and I can give her foot massage,

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and we can be there for each other on a different level. But

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I don’t seek that approval from her anymore. When it comes to my

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job. Because she is

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my

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relative because she’s close to me. That kind of pressure I

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don’t put on her anymore And ever since our relationship is

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very good. I don’t have that resentment against her anymore.

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And I keep doing what I think is best for my listeners and for my

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path here. And it is all good. And I know there’s more people

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out there who cheer for me than people out there who want to

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bring me down or not

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support

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support me. So it is all okay. So when we talk about

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resilience, I also want to talk about that approval thing

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because I feel a lot of people don’t come out of your other

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closet because they feel they’d be alone then and rejected and

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yeah there might be people who reject you and push you away but

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only because they are not there yet and they don’t understand

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you and they only operate from their perspective and have not

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the ability to be emotionally intelligent enough to see what

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is going inside going inside of you but there’s so many people

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out there that feel the same and that want to do the same as you

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and are just as scared as you and if you decide not to come

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out and not to be brave and follow your path then you

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basically let down these other people too because if you were

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to go out you would show them that it is possible and then

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it’s scary what you do it anyways so it is a very brave

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courageous thing to do but you can’t force people to approve of

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you you can just be very honest with yourself and continue on

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your path and in doing so inspiring other people to and

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maybe take a little bit of fear out of their situation so this

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was about approval receiving approval from someone who

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doesn’t want to give it to you you put them in a position of

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power that they don’t necessarily need and you put

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yourself in a kind of victim position and small position

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where you don’t necessarily belong so step out there and be

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brave and show who you are and there will be enough people

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receiving you and your idea that he can

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you can do it i believe you can and people who don’t want to

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give us the approval are not necessarily evil just see them

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as people who are challenging you and testing you it’s like a

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test

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as if it was to ask you do you really want that how badly how

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desperately do you want to go down that road how desperately

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do you love that person but you know your parents are not going

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to improve her desperately do you want that job but you know

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your people will feel let down because it is not what the

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family was doing in previous generations and if you do it

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with a genuine heart if you do it with an honest honest like

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mind and attitude and out of a pure intention then they will

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eventually come around and look at you and be proud of you

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because maybe then they will see how hard it was for you and they

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will be proud of you and they will see that other people are

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cheering for you and maybe feel a little bad that they didn’t

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cheer for you at the beginning but it’s okay you can forgive

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that and if they don’t want to be there for you if they don’t

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approve of what you’re doing then it is okay to because you

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have to look for the people who support you who inspire you and

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the other people you can keep close and connect on different

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levels thank you so much for listening to this episode today

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i hope i can make you feel more empowered with the ideas you

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want to do the fear you might have to face to feel alone no

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wit and fear rejected it is so worth it if you intend to do

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something that is serving others and comes from a place of

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genuine love then go ahead don’t hold back and start

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brainstorming you were listening to the borealis experience i’m

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your host aurora and i’m very happy to be serving you this way

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i hope you are in a good place and if you’re not then spoil

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yourself to a couple of meditations here and i’m sure

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they will make you feel better until next time alive