Ep. 4 The Madness of Grief [ radical self-care]

It probably doesn’t come as a surprise to you that we all grief in different ways.

How did you deal with grief and loss in the past ? It’s so scary to experience how easy it is to abandon yourself when going through the pain of loss.

Were you able to keep your heart open ?

Did you have a complete meltdown and had to rebuild yourself from scratch ?

Were you able to accept support ?

Were you able to engage in basic self-care practice or did you slide into total self-abandonment?

The loss of a loved one, relationship, job etc is most of the time deeply life altering ..

With much love

A.

I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self. My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

http://www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you’d like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

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Transcript
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Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I’m your host Aurora, licensed life coach and

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companion on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you

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feel good, I hope you feel safe and supported, loved, maybe even

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excited ambitious.

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Ah, I needed to pause for a second it’s it’s been quite a

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while since I posted an episode and I’m very happy to be back

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and to connect with you. Not going to bore you with any

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details. If you have questions about what happened in my life,

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feel free to reach out and message me at Aurora Eggert on

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Facebook.

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Today I want to talk about grieving madness. Ah, when we

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experience loss of a loved one. And I’m pretty sure we all have

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experienced that, at some point in our life.

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We lost a partner, we lost a relationship we lost grip

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on to our sanity, we lost a job we lost an opportunity whatever

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it is what we lost. It leaves a void. It leaves us feeling

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powerless, helpless,

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desperate. And what I realize now is that even if two people

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are grieving over the same loss it is a very different

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experience for each individual involved. There’s some people

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who jump into action and to the to dues and to how to organize

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and manage and find relief in action to the point that you can

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become very restless and then there’s people who fall into

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deep hole into darkness close to say paralysis many depression

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are full on depression a state where it is hard to get up in

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the morning. It is hard to take care of yourself. It is hard to

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cook food get the garbage out and meet your basic needs. And

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the very juicy interesting part is if two people or more people

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involved are trying to cope at the same time with the same loss

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but have very different tools available and very different.

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Like default states so to say. This is drama, madness, Insanity

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brewing up when people with different approaches live

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together or are really in relationship with each other. It

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is very important to find your own way to cope with grief. You

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take your time you have your default state you know Do what’s

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best for you. And it is very important to at the same time,

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not abandon yourself. So what I was able to do not every day,

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but most of the days was to focus on the very basics.

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shower, brush your hair, for the people out there who have long

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hair. Maybe you experienced this before that when you feel sad,

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depressed, anxious, desperate, you stop taking care of your

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hair, you wash it, you brush it, you groom when you feel great,

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and as soon as you don’t feel good, you start neglecting your

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long hair.

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You eat poorly, you only snack you let your household kind of

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go. You don’t engage in the basic cleaning and getting the

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garbage out anymore. Everything is hard, everything feels like

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a huge drain. So I was paying attention to that whenever I had

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thoughts coming up. Now I don’t feel like dressing up properly.

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Like it’s it was minus 20 degrees here at times and I just

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said, Fuck it. Let’s be cold. I’m just gonna go out and my

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night dress and a little jacket. I was able to rein myself in and

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to get dressed properly. Just a side example. Same goes for your

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dishes, your laundry there was a voice and energy coming up

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whispering in my ear. Come on, you can let this go. You don’t

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have to do laundry now. You don’t have to put the dishes

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away. And I was able to tell myself No, this is going to make

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it even worse if my space is dirty and not orderly. Another

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attend cleansed leanness freak and orderliness freak or however

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you say that but there is some kind of orderliness and my

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household. If I let that go, it’s going to make me feel even

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worse. And then there’s people that reach out and want to

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support you. And some people are very supportive, and check in on

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you and share words of comfort with you. And then there’s

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people who approach you and say things that are very

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insensitive, and make it even worse because you think, oh,

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okay, I’m gonna open up to that personnel and then they open

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their mouth and you feel even worse afterwards. And to find

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out okay, what what feels good right now? And what are you not

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ready to hear right now. Then there’s people that you think

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you can count on for support, and they are dealing with their

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own life with their own stuff, and they cannot be there for you

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and to not, again, abandon yourself and think that those

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are bad people, selfish people. Write to to go even deeper into

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victim mentality. Because of other people’s behavior, is also

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a very easy thing to do and to refrain from that takes

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awareness.

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And then there’s people out there who out of nowhere offer

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you the greatest support and time and energy and

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you feel resistant to accepting it because you don’t know if you

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can give back and to keep your heart open and to receive that

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support. can feel very counterintuitive at times but it

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It’s very worth it to accept it and to keep your heart open. And

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then there’s people who offer support where you think, but I

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don’t need that kind of support. But to know that we’re all

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together in this and to see that this is a person offering

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support from their map of the world, they want to connect,

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they want to be supportive, even though it’s not really something

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that you need at this point, but it

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feels good. Be open to receive it. Be open to see that there’s

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so many people out there who love you and want to support you

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and feel your pain.

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I just want to feel into this a little. And find out if there’s

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more I want to share. Yeah, I think what I want to share is

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that we’re all going through loss at some point in our lives,

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and you cannot be prepared for it. Because most of the time it

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takes you off guard, it surprises you and then to take

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the days, hour by hour, and to not abandon yourself. And to

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know that you don’t need to move on, but just get through it was

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one of the biggest advice that I received during those last 10

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days. I’m going to leave you with that. And want to express

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how grateful I am to have you listening on the other side. And

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to get to know you better through every conversation we

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have, and to let you know that you’re not alone in this. I’m

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also sharing that about a year, a couple of weeks ago, and we’re

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finishing up to get it ready. In the month of November, I’m

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certainly going to host events and hold space for people who

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want to sit in silence and process loss and allow

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themselves to grieve. And during the other month, I will come up

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with a theme for each month. And very excited to show up in this

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world. And that way to have you out in my space and to connect

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with you to see you grow and heal and most importantly to

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offer a space for you where you can totally be yourself and

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reconnect to your true nature. But you’ll hear more about this.

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In the future. You can always ask questions or make requests.

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If there’s a group of friends of people of family out there who

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want to connect through a topic in my space out here, just let

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me know. All right. I’ll be out there very soon again. Until

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then, take good care of yourself. Bye bye

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