Hey there,
Have you ever experienced unconditional love?
Full acceptance.
Freedom of expression.
etc.
Does it exist among humans ?
if yes, does it exist in romantic relationships ?
let’s explore 🙂
with love
A.
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Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I’m your host Aurora, and I’m very happy to be
Unknown:spending some time with you today. I hope you’re doing well.
Unknown:Today’s episode is inspired by a dear listener of mine, hand in
Unknown:hand, unconditional love.
Unknown:I think unconditional love is what we all crave. We want to
Unknown:feel accepted, we want to feel
Unknown:as if we can expand and change whenever we feel like it. We are
Unknown:free to decide in which direction our life goes, we are
Unknown:afraid to express ourselves, our center authentically
Unknown:is that the case in your relationship
Unknown:in your romantic relationship.
Unknown:Or maybe you are single at the moment, and you wonder how it
Unknown:was in the past and how it’s going to be in the future. To
Unknown:experience unconditional love.
Unknown:I say it was cetera soothing and warm voice. And at the same
Unknown:time, I have to warn you that I believe unconditional love
Unknown:doesn’t really exist in this Western world. Among lovers, and
Unknown:romantic relationships, I experience unconditional love
Unknown:with my friends. I do whatever I want. And they cheer for me. I
Unknown:date whoever I want. And they cheer for me. I make mistakes,
Unknown:and they call me out on my bullshit. I make decisions. And
Unknown:they listen. And yeah, are excited for me
Unknown:with a partner. So I feel it is very different. When there’s
Unknown:strong feelings involved, when you’re building something
Unknown:together, then you have to have a set of rules in place in order
Unknown:to function as a team.
Unknown:And it is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a thing that
Unknown:you have to find a person who matches your needs, who matches
Unknown:your conditions.
Unknown:And that person has to be good. Okay, with your conditions you
Unknown:put in place.
Unknown:I feel a lot of times people think like, my relationship is
Unknown:so conditional. I feel so stuck. I feel so bored. If you’re under
Unknown:stimulated, I feel joyful
Unknown:yet, are they living up to their highest potential?
Unknown:Do they maybe use their relationship and their partner
Unknown:to make excuses to not evolve and to have someone else to
Unknown:blame them. I feel that’s the case at times.
Unknown:And a lot of times people are in relationships and are very fear
Unknown:driven. And those few driven people have even more conditions
Unknown:in place in order to be happy and feel satisfied. In a
Unknown:relationship. It is extremely tricky because those things
Unknown:don’t really show up. Initially when you meet the person when
Unknown:you fall in love. They come up over time it is fears that we
Unknown:acquired maybe even as a child
Unknown:as a youngster. Maybe after our first heartbreak, we made
Unknown:certain conclusions about ourselves and the world. Because
Unknown:we promised ourselves to not go through such an amount of pain
Unknown:anymore.
Unknown:So what I want to challenge you to look at today is I you making
Unknown:excuses are you
Unknown:allowing people to put you in a box and just accept it and at
Unknown:the same time you’re whining about it?
Unknown:What are the conditions that you put
Unknown:in place,
Unknown:what do you expect from your partner?
Unknown:Attention, loyalty, self care, health,
Unknown:a stable income.
Unknown:It can be whatever you can think of, what are the things that you
Unknown:imply that you have to see happening in your partner in
Unknown:order to feel safe and cared for and good.
Unknown:And then you can change that you can change the conditions that
Unknown:you put in place for your partner, and for your
Unknown:relationships.
Unknown:And maybe you want to change those conditions, maybe you want
Unknown:to be a little more easygoing, maybe you healed from past
Unknown:trauma, maybe you totally trust your partner. And
Unknown:in the past, you didn’t like him or her to go on vacation on
Unknown:their own. And now you feel like you want it for yourself. So you
Unknown:want to allow this for your partner as well. It is really
Unknown:tricky for me to see in which kind of scenario you live in
Unknown:right now on how restricted you feel. Because it is crazy
Unknown:extremes out there. And I don’t want to be starting talking
Unknown:about how people even survive in certain conditions and certain
Unknown:relationship conditions. The most important thing that I want
Unknown:to remind you of is that self acceptance, self care, self
Unknown:respect, is so incredibly important in a relationship, and
Unknown:that is something you can work on that is something where you
Unknown:can evolve and grow. And it will change and affect your
Unknown:relationship. At the same time.
Unknown:Have a look at your relationship right now. Do you feel like you
Unknown:can evolve and expand? Or do you feel like you will have to deal
Unknown:with nagging and weird comments and criticism. And you have to
Unknown:be okay, whenever you change whenever you try to, yeah,
Unknown:influence yourself, for the better. You will meet negativity
Unknown:and the outside and it will spark it will tickle it will
Unknown:trigger your self doubt and you will maybe be discouraged then
Unknown:to not do what you wanted to do to not change and to stay the
Unknown:same person.
Unknown:I think what I want to emphasize in this episode is that Yeah,
Unknown:all too often we look outside and we see all like
Unknown:unconditional love, we don’t feel unconditionally accepted by
Unknown:a partner. But if you can start and see that your partner will
Unknown:always be a mirror of your self image.
Unknown:Then you will see how much power you have over your own self
Unknown:acceptance and happiness. And it will put you in a place of
Unknown:self respect and risk being responsible for yourself and
Unknown:feeling empowered, you will start and go and do those things
Unknown:for yourself that you expect your partner to do for you.
Unknown:And it is so much easier to change your behavior, your view
Unknown:on the world. Instead of trying to change the other person, the
Unknown:other person will adapt or fall of the horse fall of the
Unknown:relationship. But it is okay. It is necessary sometimes, in order
Unknown:for you to find yourself and to find true happiness.
Unknown:A very important thing now is that you do it from
Unknown:your heart and not from your ego, not from your mind that you
Unknown:don’t do it in order to teach another person a lesson or to be
Unknown:extra hard on yourself or to
Unknown:heal. Yeah, in a weird way, something that has happened to
Unknown:you in the past like overcompensating, it has to come
Unknown:from your intuition from your heart. And it has to be a true
Unknown:and honest action towards your heart.
Unknown:cannot be an external reason it has to be an internal reason.
Unknown:And unconditional love. This is what I want to say ultimately
Unknown:here starts with yourself. If you don’t unconditionally love
Unknown:yourself, you will never really find it in the outside world as
Unknown:well. Because the outside world is just a reflection of what is
Unknown:happening inside of you. You might be unaware of this, and in
Unknown:abling other people to restrict you and to hold you like all
Unknown:tangled up and unhappy in a position. But others you who
Unknown:allows this, and enables this,
Unknown:it is a part in yourself, who still believes that you don’t
Unknown:deserve unconditional love.
Unknown:So that will show up in your life in your external life. In
Unknown:your reality.
Unknown:How do we learn to unconditionally love ourselves?
Unknown:What is very easy to see the things that we like about
Unknown:ourselves, for some people, for other people, it is very easy to
Unknown:see all the flaws and all the problems and all the things that
Unknown:we don’t have in our life already.
Unknown:And this is where you can put your focus on your work into
Unknown:stop trying to change the world around you stop trying to
Unknown:influence the people around you, and getting upset on how they
Unknown:treat you. Start looking at yourself and how you feel with
Unknown:your own thoughts when you allow silence.
Unknown:And this is what brings me back to meditation. Meditation is
Unknown:where you take time for yourself, where you observe your
Unknown:thoughts where you tune into your breath. And you acknowledge
Unknown:all your feelings that are present. Are you scared? Are you
Unknown:sad? Did you feel lost?
Unknown:Do you feel happy and content and fulfilled?
Unknown:Are your thoughts racing are your thoughts very destructive
Unknown:and negative?
Unknown:Those are signs that you can put a little more work on self care,
Unknown:a little more emphasis on self respect, and how you look at
Unknown:yourself and see the world.
Unknown:Unconditional Love starts with you. If there’s still parts in
Unknown:you that you reject, maybe from your past stuff that you can’t
Unknown:make sense of why you’ve done it, why you’ve acted that way,
Unknown:why your behavior was such as shots.
Unknown:You have to learn to forgive and to move on. And you have to be
Unknown:able to look into the mirror with the most kindest smile,
Unknown:softest gaze. Because if you cannot do this, you cannot
Unknown:expect any other person in the outside world to do it for you.
Unknown:The way the people around you treat you
Unknown:is again, a reflection of how you see yourself. A person on
Unknown:the outside has a hard time to love you more than you love
Unknown:yourself. Because there will be a system inside of yourself in
Unknown:place that will not allow this love to touch your heart. And
Unknown:you have to let down your guard, break down your walls and do the
Unknown:work to start fully accepting yourself now in order to
Unknown:experience great love with your partner with your family, with
Unknown:your friends.
Unknown:Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I will be out
Unknown:there very soon again. If you haven’t already, make sure to
Unknown:subscribe. And if you like my show, please give me a five star
Unknown:rating and a review on Apple podcast. In one way it means the
Unknown:world to me.
Unknown:Have a good rest of your day. Bye bye
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