Aurora Eggert Coaching

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I’m your host Aurora, and I’m very happy to be

spending some time with you today. I hope you’re doing well.

Today’s episode is inspired by a dear listener of mine, hand in

hand, unconditional love.

I think unconditional love is what we all crave. We want to

feel accepted, we want to feel

as if we can expand and change whenever we feel like it. We are

free to decide in which direction our life goes, we are

afraid to express ourselves, our center authentically

is that the case in your relationship

in your romantic relationship.

Or maybe you are single at the moment, and you wonder how it

was in the past and how it’s going to be in the future. To

experience unconditional love.

I say it was cetera soothing and warm voice. And at the same

time, I have to warn you that I believe unconditional love

doesn’t really exist in this Western world. Among lovers, and

romantic relationships, I experience unconditional love

with my friends. I do whatever I want. And they cheer for me. I

date whoever I want. And they cheer for me. I make mistakes,

and they call me out on my bullshit. I make decisions. And

they listen. And yeah, are excited for me

with a partner. So I feel it is very different. When there’s

strong feelings involved, when you’re building something

together, then you have to have a set of rules in place in order

to function as a team.

And it is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a thing that

you have to find a person who matches your needs, who matches

your conditions.

And that person has to be good. Okay, with your conditions you

put in place.

I feel a lot of times people think like, my relationship is

so conditional. I feel so stuck. I feel so bored. If you’re under

stimulated, I feel joyful

yet, are they living up to their highest potential?

Do they maybe use their relationship and their partner

to make excuses to not evolve and to have someone else to

blame them. I feel that’s the case at times.

And a lot of times people are in relationships and are very fear

driven. And those few driven people have even more conditions

in place in order to be happy and feel satisfied. In a

relationship. It is extremely tricky because those things

don’t really show up. Initially when you meet the person when

you fall in love. They come up over time it is fears that we

acquired maybe even as a child

as a youngster. Maybe after our first heartbreak, we made

certain conclusions about ourselves and the world. Because

we promised ourselves to not go through such an amount of pain

anymore.

So what I want to challenge you to look at today is I you making

excuses are you

allowing people to put you in a box and just accept it and at

the same time you’re whining about it?

What are the conditions that you put

in place,

what do you expect from your partner?

Attention, loyalty, self care, health,

a stable income.

It can be whatever you can think of, what are the things that you

imply that you have to see happening in your partner in

order to feel safe and cared for and good.

And then you can change that you can change the conditions that

you put in place for your partner, and for your

relationships.

And maybe you want to change those conditions, maybe you want

to be a little more easygoing, maybe you healed from past

trauma, maybe you totally trust your partner. And

in the past, you didn’t like him or her to go on vacation on

their own. And now you feel like you want it for yourself. So you

want to allow this for your partner as well. It is really

tricky for me to see in which kind of scenario you live in

right now on how restricted you feel. Because it is crazy

extremes out there. And I don’t want to be starting talking

about how people even survive in certain conditions and certain

relationship conditions. The most important thing that I want

to remind you of is that self acceptance, self care, self

respect, is so incredibly important in a relationship, and

that is something you can work on that is something where you

can evolve and grow. And it will change and affect your

relationship. At the same time.

Have a look at your relationship right now. Do you feel like you

can evolve and expand? Or do you feel like you will have to deal

with nagging and weird comments and criticism. And you have to

be okay, whenever you change whenever you try to, yeah,

influence yourself, for the better. You will meet negativity

and the outside and it will spark it will tickle it will

trigger your self doubt and you will maybe be discouraged then

to not do what you wanted to do to not change and to stay the

same person.

I think what I want to emphasize in this episode is that Yeah,

all too often we look outside and we see all like

unconditional love, we don’t feel unconditionally accepted by

a partner. But if you can start and see that your partner will

always be a mirror of your self image.

Then you will see how much power you have over your own self

acceptance and happiness. And it will put you in a place of

self respect and risk being responsible for yourself and

feeling empowered, you will start and go and do those things

for yourself that you expect your partner to do for you.

And it is so much easier to change your behavior, your view

on the world. Instead of trying to change the other person, the

other person will adapt or fall of the horse fall of the

relationship. But it is okay. It is necessary sometimes, in order

for you to find yourself and to find true happiness.

A very important thing now is that you do it from

your heart and not from your ego, not from your mind that you

don’t do it in order to teach another person a lesson or to be

extra hard on yourself or to

heal. Yeah, in a weird way, something that has happened to

you in the past like overcompensating, it has to come

from your intuition from your heart. And it has to be a true

and honest action towards your heart.

cannot be an external reason it has to be an internal reason.

And unconditional love. This is what I want to say ultimately

here starts with yourself. If you don’t unconditionally love

yourself, you will never really find it in the outside world as

well. Because the outside world is just a reflection of what is

happening inside of you. You might be unaware of this, and in

abling other people to restrict you and to hold you like all

tangled up and unhappy in a position. But others you who

allows this, and enables this,

it is a part in yourself, who still believes that you don’t

deserve unconditional love.

So that will show up in your life in your external life. In

your reality.

How do we learn to unconditionally love ourselves?

What is very easy to see the things that we like about

ourselves, for some people, for other people, it is very easy to

see all the flaws and all the problems and all the things that

we don’t have in our life already.

And this is where you can put your focus on your work into

stop trying to change the world around you stop trying to

influence the people around you, and getting upset on how they

treat you. Start looking at yourself and how you feel with

your own thoughts when you allow silence.

And this is what brings me back to meditation. Meditation is

where you take time for yourself, where you observe your

thoughts where you tune into your breath. And you acknowledge

all your feelings that are present. Are you scared? Are you

sad? Did you feel lost?

Do you feel happy and content and fulfilled?

Are your thoughts racing are your thoughts very destructive

and negative?

Those are signs that you can put a little more work on self care,

a little more emphasis on self respect, and how you look at

yourself and see the world.

Unconditional Love starts with you. If there’s still parts in

you that you reject, maybe from your past stuff that you can’t

make sense of why you’ve done it, why you’ve acted that way,

why your behavior was such as shots.

You have to learn to forgive and to move on. And you have to be

able to look into the mirror with the most kindest smile,

softest gaze. Because if you cannot do this, you cannot

expect any other person in the outside world to do it for you.

The way the people around you treat you

is again, a reflection of how you see yourself. A person on

the outside has a hard time to love you more than you love

yourself. Because there will be a system inside of yourself in

place that will not allow this love to touch your heart. And

you have to let down your guard, break down your walls and do the

work to start fully accepting yourself now in order to

experience great love with your partner with your family, with

your friends.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I will be out

there very soon again. If you haven’t already, make sure to

subscribe. And if you like my show, please give me a five star

rating and a review on Apple podcast. In one way it means the

world to me.

Have a good rest of your day. Bye bye