Hey There,
warning: strong language
today’s episode is very dear to me.
aggression is my go to emotion when I feel powerless or too sad for too long.
It is the most misunderstood emotion ever, as I find.
I will be covering the pain body as first described by Eckhart Tolle and past wounds. In future episodes I want to provide you with tools on how to untangle yourself from feeling trapped in all this.
lots of love Aurora
Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate?business=DWPYL9GK5AVQL&item_name=buy+me+a+tea¤cy_code=CAD)
If you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and make sure to leave a review to help me reach more listeners just like you looking to follow their inner truth.
Find the episode that suits your mood best here
https://the-borealis-experience.captivate.fm
If I am missing a topic. Please sent me a topic request
Support the Show and Social Links
Thank you !!!!
Want to ‘Buy me a coffee’ and send some appreciation my way ?
Click link below
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/auroraborealis
Give some love to the show and make it easier for people to find my podcast in leaving a review here
https://ratethispodcast.com/aurora
Do you need a one on one chat or regular meet ups with me to stay accountable on your journey ?
Book a free 60 mins meeting with me
Just message me on fb
And join
https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggertcoaching/
Have a podcast episode topic request ?
Sent me a message on fb
https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggert1/
#lifecoachformen
#lifecoachforwomen
#newepisode
Thank you so much
https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggert1/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWuBuBFtPkAPo3NL1DjRgQ
@theborealisexperience
https://www.theborealisexperience.com/listen
Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I’m
Unknown:your host Aurora.
Unknown:And I’m very
Unknown:happy to be spending some time with you today. Today is the
Unknown:32nd episode. And just a quick announcement that I will be
Unknown:hosting on a different platform now. So if you have iTunes and
Unknown:Spotify,
Unknown:you are safe.
Unknown:If you were listening to this podcast on any other platform,
Unknown:then iTunes, Spotify stitchers, and one other that I can recall
Unknown:now, then please join iTunes or Spotify. Yeah, I’m very excited,
Unknown:I have a new platform where I can edit better, and I can reach
Unknown:out to you in a different way. And this is very exciting for
Unknown:me, because I’m not a computer nerd on the exact opposite. But
Unknown:it’s all going to be fine. I’m gonna be patient and bite
Unknown:through it. Because you’re so worth it. I want you to have the
Unknown:best quality when you choose to spend time with me. So let’s
Unknown:dive in. Today, I announced yesterday, I announced that I
Unknown:will be talking about emotional pain and aggression. Let’s talk
Unknown:about emotional pain first, because I feel emotional pain is
Unknown:the first step that leads us to be aggressive. Do you care carry
Unknown:pain around with you and don’t even know it? How do you find
Unknown:out? There’s this awesome guy called eco tala. And he
Unknown:describes said as the pain body. So if you think about your
Unknown:physical body, now imagine your emotional body being just as
Unknown:susceptible to pain, then your physical body. And when someone
Unknown:is attacking us when something hurts us, it creates a scar on
Unknown:our emotional body. And can you imagine how it would look like
Unknown:feel like be like to have these wounds visible? I would hope
Unknown:that we would all be way more gentle with each other. But
Unknown:let’s think about all the stuff that has hurt you in the past.
Unknown:And did you really get over it? Or is it still bugging you
Unknown:today? We can go even into your childhood and everything that
Unknown:happens between zero and seven years of age is kind of burned
Unknown:into your heart where and that stuff is really hard to dig out
Unknown:and expose and get rid of because it’s really burned into
Unknown:our little spongy brain. sponge because we soak everything up
Unknown:when we’re little. So all the experiences that you’ve made so
Unknown:far, have left an impression on you. You made your conclusions.
Unknown:You might have found resolution and closure. But no one
Unknown:navigates through life with a clean shirt. So to say we all
Unknown:have stuff that we had a hard time to let go. That is still
Unknown:bugging us. And when we get injured when we get emotionally
Unknown:attacked. Then what our brain does is detaching from that
Unknown:experience. Or whatever comes up in the future that reminds us of
Unknown:that experience will have a huge impact on us and a huge reaction
Unknown:will arise because of stuff that is being triggered. We learn
Unknown:then to avoid or resist or fight Everything that reminds us of
Unknown:that pain that has happened to us in the past. And maybe you
Unknown:are doing this consciously. But most of the time, that stuff
Unknown:happens unconsciously. And we just see it in how people react
Unknown:to us. And sometimes we don’t get why people react in a
Unknown:certain way. Because we are so unaware of how we behave, that
Unknown:we only focus of what is happening
Unknown:outside. And why is that a bad thing? It is a bad thing,
Unknown:because we usually then retreat into victim mentality and blame
Unknown:others see all the faulty things that happen outside of us, but
Unknown:we can quite see what is happening inside of us that we
Unknown:could correct and where we have the power to change. And so if
Unknown:we learn to avoid pain, resist or fight potential pain, because
Unknown:it is our brain who can see the danger, but because of a
Unknown:distorted view on reality, yeah, you are so scared of being left
Unknown:alone again. Let’s say if that was one thing in your childhood,
Unknown:that now every time the slightest moment of loneliness
Unknown:comes up, you just freak out and you have to, like try to
Unknown:suffocate that ugly feeling of love, loneliness. And we can
Unknown:really learn we can unfuck ourselves, so to say from from
Unknown:those avoid and detachment behaviors and can reintegrate
Unknown:and become the person we were supposed to become, again.
Unknown:Because when we close ourselves up, and like, try to protect
Unknown:ourselves too much, then we also close ourselves up to love and
Unknown:the most beautiful things in life that asked from us to be
Unknown:courageous, right? Like when you live in fear, when you live in a
Unknown:constant state of protectiveness, then you really
Unknown:miss out. And that should be enough of a reason to dig up old
Unknown:stuff and look at it and then put it to peace, put it to sleep
Unknown:forever. So let’s look at some examples. We have racism, we
Unknown:have heartbreak, we have accidents, we have
Unknown:disappointment, that all can happen and deeply injure us and,
Unknown:and even shape our perception, on life and on society and on
Unknown:people in general. When we make these experiences than usually
Unknown:we see black and white, there is racism from white people against
Unknown:black people and from black people, against white people. I
Unknown:experienced it when I was living in South Africa. Like for four
Unknown:months, I had really a taste of what racism feels like. And I
Unknown:know how crippling it is and scary. But I refuse to see South
Unknown:Africa as a racist country like it’s not just to then make a
Unknown:general like radical conclusion just because I had a bad
Unknown:experience. Same with heartbreak. Yeah, when you go
Unknown:through a really terrible heartbreak. Of course you have
Unknown:to heal and rest and rejuvenate and everything. But there comes
Unknown:a time where you have to go out there again with a complete open
Unknown:heart and mind and be curious about the other person and
Unknown:noticed when your mind is trying to protect you when when you’re
Unknown:trying to run away from intimacy again. You’re probably wondering
Unknown:when I’m finally get into aggression, but I’m getting
Unknown:there. Be patient with me. So when shit happens, it is burned
Unknown:into a memory like a scar and to avoid future pain. We
Unknown:subconscious We change our behavior. And that is so tricky,
Unknown:because, as you probably know, subconscious means that we are
Unknown:absolutely not aware that our behavior is changing, that we
Unknown:becoming more dark or more
Unknown:heavy or more aggressive even. And that affects how we relate
Unknown:to people and things. And in turn affects what we bring into
Unknown:our life attract into our life, you don’t have to be all too
Unknown:esoteric to understand that I don’t want to say because I know
Unknown:you can follow me. But once you shout into the forest, you
Unknown:receive back, there’s a quote like that in German, please
Unknown:correct me if I’m wrong. If you have a bad mood and you behave
Unknown:aggressively, then there’s a huge chance that the feedback
Unknown:will be negative as well, except if it’s a person who can cut
Unknown:through your bullshit and see your pain. But usually, it has
Unknown:to be a person that knows you for a long time. So your
Unknown:behavior changes on a subconscious level. And you
Unknown:attract things out of some that you don’t really want. But you
Unknown:don’t understand why. And this is because of the emotions that
Unknown:we send out into the world, and that make us feel stuck and
Unknown:influences greatly how we make choices, our decision making is
Unknown:hugely dependent on how we feel about ourselves and others. And
Unknown:this is what I want you to be aware of today. And that even
Unknown:changes the way you see yourself and you feel about yourself, and
Unknown:you see and feel all that others, all of it is affected.
Unknown:So let’s go deeper into an example here. Let’s say that in
Unknown:high school, you were bullied that one time because you were
Unknown:not a good sports man, sports woman, and people started making
Unknown:fun of you. So how do you step into the world, then you step
Unknown:into the world thinking that you are not sporty, not capable of
Unknown:any physical activity, and you retreat you may be not because
Unknown:of a passion, become an artist, because you think you’re not
Unknown:worth being a sporty person, because he had that shitty
Unknown:experience. And it can be the other way around too. You can be
Unknown:born into a family of intellectuals and bankers,
Unknown:accountants, whatnot, but be born into a soul being an
Unknown:artist, a singer, a songwriter, or a painter. So how do you feel
Unknown:about yourself when you bring back a painting from school and
Unknown:your family says well, but your math grades suck. But your
Unknown:English skills suck. So how do you feel then about yourself of
Unknown:course, you’re going to think that you’re a useless piece of
Unknown:human being who has nothing to serve the world. So the
Unknown:experiences you made in the past that might have shaped you that
Unknown:you maybe have forgotten about and and really affect the way
Unknown:you see yourself and then the society around us that at
Unknown:sometimes some point in our life has taught us that we are not
Unknown:okay how we are and we have to change to fit in because
Unknown:otherwise we get excluded or whatnot. And I feel this is the
Unknown:root cause of aggression and aggression is the most Miss
Unknown:understood emotion that there is because yeah, you can be an
Unknown:aggressive car driver or sportsman, sports woman. But
Unknown:aggression among people is deriving because of feeling
Unknown:misunderstood, feeling, powerless, feeling not seen and
Unknown:feeling as if you don’t matter. It’s a deep feeling of sadness.
Unknown:That turns people into evil, aggressive people. And I can
Unknown:talk from experience because I’ve been there and I have not
Unknown:completely healed from it yet. I still have tremendous aggression
Unknown:inside of my chest, but I learned to channel it out. And
Unknown:to be aware of it and go deeper, if you can think about a
Unknown:pyramid, aggression is more on the top level of the pyramid of
Unknown:emotions, and lower levels of emotions, like
Unknown:the deep base of aggression can be shame, and sadness. And if we
Unknown:would learn to see it in ourselves, and then reflect that
Unknown:into the outside world again. And if we could teach people to
Unknown:see it in other people, and not react to the aggression that is
Unknown:happening, but seeing the bullshit that is going on
Unknown:underneath, we would be such a strong society and so supportive
Unknown:with each other. I don’t know if you can hear it in my voice. But
Unknown:this topic is really dear to me. aggression is really a tricky,
Unknown:tricky emotion because it pushes people away, when you want them
Unknown:to be closest, when you finally want to express yourself, yeah,
Unknown:when you held back your sadness and your powerlessness and your
Unknown:shame for too long. And it just bursts out of you, and you want
Unknown:to make people hear you. But it comes out as this aggressive,
Unknown:ugly language, where people have two choices, they can make this
Unknown:how do you say they can play them? not hearing, not seeing,
Unknown:just receiving, but actually being shut down. So they keep
Unknown:being in your presence, but don’t really understand you and
Unknown:just wait until you’re done. Then there’s the other person
Unknown:who snaps back, which makes it most of the time even worse. And
Unknown:then there’s the person who can see that you are in pain and
Unknown:then cuts through and just gets in there. And it’s there for
Unknown:you, even though you were aggressive. And those are the
Unknown:people who really get you who really want to be close to you.
Unknown:And we have to learn to express ourselves better. And that
Unknown:aggression is a nice tool is an awesome, awesome emotion to
Unknown:sometimes get things done and to be successful. But when we
Unknown:interact with others, when we want to feel understood,
Unknown:aggression can be the way to go. It pushes people away, it scares
Unknown:people, especially when it is a man and a woman and the woman is
Unknown:the enabler and the man is reacting aggressively, then the
Unknown:woman will not change her behavior. The way it’d be best.
Unknown:She will be scared she will be defensive. And she will
Unknown:manipulate and fuck you up in other ways then you actually
Unknown:want so this is my first episode about aggression, aggression,
Unknown:aggression, and it was not the last.
Unknown:I’m finding it. Awesome to talk about it. It helps me a lot.
Unknown:If you follow Bill Burr, if you know the comedian, then look up
Unknown:some stuff from him. He’s hilarious and he talks about his
Unknown:aggression quite openly. I’m going to leave you at that. take
Unknown:really good care of yourself. We covered a lot today. And don’t
Unknown:forget iTunes, Spotify and Stitcher are the platforms where
Unknown:you can find me in the future. Lots of love Aurora with
Leave a Reply