Have you been in a long term relationship or are you married and things are not really going well ?
are you unhappily single and still can’t make sense of what you can do better in the future ?
this is the first episode I will be posting for you.
why do things feel off ?
what can you do to spark a change into a new direction ?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on that and find out how I can help you more specifically
I strongly believe :
the stronger our relationships the happier and satisfied we are the more solid our society can be
with love
Aurora
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pour your heart out and lets get you on a brand new path.
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=47996251
Social links
https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggert1/
@theborealisexperience
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Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I’m
Unknown:your host Aurora. And I’m very happy to be spending some time
Unknown:with you today. This episode is requested by a dear lesson. I’m
Unknown:very excited to address this marital conflicts. Because I
Unknown:feel a lot of people struggle in their relationships. And in
Unknown:talking about it and reflecting about it, and seeing how we can
Unknown:change ourselves. And in doing so, positively influencing our
Unknown:relationships, we can become stronger individuals, stronger,
Unknown:couples, a stronger society. If you like this podcast, make sure
Unknown:to subscribe. I welcome everybody who is new to my
Unknown:podcast here. so wonderful to have you. And I’m so grateful
Unknown:for all the listeners who have been here since the beginning.
Unknown:If you want to give back, if you want to show appreciation, hop
Unknown:onto Apple podcast and leave me a five star review. This will
Unknown:make it easy for people to find me and is a big thumbs up to my
Unknown:work, which I would appreciate greatly. Thank you so much. All
Unknown:right, let’s dive into this. I’m assuming that you married a
Unknown:person that you love and respect that you are attracted to. And
Unknown:that you see potential in your relationship you want to build
Unknown:and create. You got to know them a little bit beforehand, you
Unknown:feel comfortable with them. Maybe they are a friend to you,
Unknown:also a lover, a respected partner. But sometimes after a
Unknown:couple years, things go astray and things change and
Unknown:relationships change. And I want to explore a little bit why this
Unknown:happens. I feel that a lot of times we take our partner for
Unknown:granted. And we start slacking off. We make assumptions about
Unknown:how they think and who they are. And we kind of dive off into our
Unknown:world and maybe work on ourselves or focus on ourselves.
Unknown:And then all of a sudden you wake up next to your partner one
Unknown:day, and you don’t even really know who this is anymore. You
Unknown:live in the same house sleep in the same bed. But he don’t
Unknown:really have the strong bond between you guys anymore. And
Unknown:there’s many, many things you can do in order to refresh a
Unknown:relationship in order to fix relationship issues. And this is
Unknown:what I want to talk about with you today. The number one thing
Unknown:that is very important to keep track of is how much time do you
Unknown:spend together? And is this time? spend wisely? Do you just
Unknown:sit on top of each other and he is on his phone and she is on
Unknown:her iPad? Or in front of the TV? What are the things that you do
Unknown:when you spend time together? Is it fulfilling? Or is it just
Unknown:boring routine? Do you give each other full presence? When your
Unknown:partner wants to tell you something? Do you actually put
Unknown:your phone away and any other distractions you newspaper or
Unknown:whatever it could be and fully listen to your partner? And then
Unknown:what is really the art of listening? Do they talk and you
Unknown:think of your response already and how you want to get back to
Unknown:them? Or do you just listen and read body language and read what
Unknown:the main messages here? And after they’ve done talking he
Unknown:just wait and see a little bit? Do they want to vent? Do they
Unknown:want advice? Your opinion? Do they want to express to you how
Unknown:they feel. Being able to truly listen is a life changer in
Unknown:relationships. And I didn’t want to wait till the end of the
Unknown:episode because I wanted you
Unknown:to know right away that it is a very easy task to do. And so
Unknown:powerful and important in order to nurture intimate
Unknown:relationships, but also friendships. So when you listen
Unknown:to somebody, what’s yourself from now on? Do you want to jump
Unknown:in and interrupt them? Do you want to jump in and throw your
Unknown:opinion on the table and how you feel? Or can you let them speak
Unknown:out. And for me, when I started doing that, I noticed how
Unknown:impatient I was getting, I wanted to get my opinion out
Unknown:there, I wanted to get my advice out there because I wanted to
Unknown:help them right away. But when we do that, we oftentimes miss
Unknown:out on critical information, we pressure the other person, and
Unknown:we don’t make them feel heard. And, you know, so many times I,
Unknown:I see, like women, or even men who are like, Oh, my partner
Unknown:cheated on me. And I don’t even know what happened. And why is
Unknown:this and stuff what the side person was usually a good
Unknown:listener, was able to feel the emotions of the other and add
Unknown:and respond adequately. So I feel if we learn to listen to a
Unknown:partner again, then we can create that sweet intimacy to
Unknown:each other, which will reduce the likelihood
Unknown:of cheating. Now, we have listening. The next point I want
Unknown:to address is the assumptions.
Unknown:Oftentimes, we see our partner if we’ve been together with them
Unknown:for a couple years. And we just think, yeah, we know exactly how
Unknown:they think we know exactly what they do what they want in life.
Unknown:And, yeah, this is just how it is. But if you could change this
Unknown:a little bit, if you could see that your partner is allowed to
Unknown:change over time. And it makes it even very excited, exciting
Unknown:for you, if they change because they can open you up to a
Unknown:complete new world. So you have to energetically and emotionally
Unknown:give them that space, and that curiosity, to evolve and to
Unknown:become someone new every day. And to not assume just because
Unknown:they cheered for the Italians, Italian soccer players, that
Unknown:they love spaghetti, and that they love to go to Rome for the
Unknown:next trip of vacation. If you know what I mean here, we have
Unknown:to sometimes kind of force ourselves to be curious about
Unknown:people that we know for a long time, because it will give the
Unknown:other person an opportunity to grow an opportunity to see that
Unknown:you are genuinely interested. And that you give them the space
Unknown:and you allow them to grow and evolve. And this is such a
Unknown:precious gift to start new hobbies together to Yeah, maybe
Unknown:you guys were both not sporty and physically active in the
Unknown:past, but maybe you want to try something new. So to allow
Unknown:novelty and to maybe even schedule it that once a month,
Unknown:you do something new, you go to a place that you guys have never
Unknown:been before you try a hobby that you’ve never tried before. And
Unknown:to just be playful again, I feel a lot of times we forget about
Unknown:the importance of playfulness. When it comes to physical
Unknown:attraction. Remember how attracted you were at the
Unknown:beginning of your relationship to your partner and how it is
Unknown:nowadays is still very attracted and curious. Do you still
Unknown:explore new things or do you deeply appreciate your partner’s
Unknown:body with all the flaws with with everything that it has to
Unknown:offer? partner massage is a very good thing to get intimate again
Unknown:and asking questions that she it’s very scary territory to
Unknown:you. To walk on at the beginning, but it is so
Unknown:incredibly important to also there. Stay curious, what do you
Unknown:need? What do you want? am I touching you the way that it is
Unknown:good for you? Or am I only doing what I think is good for you.
Unknown:So, also, they’re becoming curious. Again, asking questions
Unknown:can sometimes unlock potential that you guys didn’t know, was
Unknown:even there to express your needs. And to tell the other
Unknown:person, what you really want not only makes you feel good about
Unknown:yourself, but also makes the other person see that you trust
Unknown:them, and that you want a strong bond with them. And that in and
Unknown:of itself, is very strengthening for a relationship. You know,
Unknown:you guys are married, you want to stay together for life, you
Unknown:have to be able to fully open up, because you don’t want to
Unknown:die one day and know that you had to hide this part of
Unknown:yourself because you were scared to feeling judged. You have to
Unknown:be able to trust your partner fully, and allow yourself to
Unknown:grow and express yourself and be a trustworthy partner and do the
Unknown:same for your partner. So I feel that wasn’t the last episode
Unknown:that I put out
Unknown:here for marital conflict. But the first we covered here was
Unknown:the lessening the undivided attention, the curiosity for
Unknown:your partner, playfulness, and then intimacy, how to be
Unknown:intimate with your partner again, because most of the time,
Unknown:it is your one and only person that you want to be intimate
Unknown:with. But let’s not allow it to become shallow and routine.
Unknown:Let’s dive a little deeper again and create deep, satisfying
Unknown:relationships. Thank you so much for listening today. I will be
Unknown:out there very soon again. And if this topic is of interest to
Unknown:you, please shoot me a message and I’ll put out there more
Unknown:content about it. Until next time,
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