Aurora Eggert Coaching

Hello, hello,

and welcome to the Borealis experience. I’m your host

Aurora, and I’m very happy to be spending some time with you

today.

I hope you’re doing well, hope you’re in a good place. And if

you’re not in a good place, I hope I can make you feel better

make you feel understood and learn more.

Okay.

about the situation you are in right now. Yeah, today’s episode

is about masculine energy, male role models. I don’t know, I

feel like talking about this topic a lot. And I’m just not

going to hold back anymore. A lot of people go through divorce

nowadays. And most of the time, it is the mother who gets the

custody of the children. It is the mother who yet takes care of

the children and goes to work receives support financial

support from her ex husband. And, yeah, this is how it is

being organized. Some guys out there, manage and want to take

care of their kids. And it is only I feel when the woman is

struggling with mental health or other issues that the guy gets

to take care of the children and go to work. And really, in every

family is different. There’s some divorce cases that are

super nasty, and it’s wars. And it’s struggle over years and

lots of pain. And then there’s some people who just decide to

separate and they have a beautiful, harmonious life,

where they organize themselves and everything is going well.

What I want to point out today, though, is that most of the time

it is the mother, who raises the children and goes to work makes

sure that everything is being provided.

For the girls that are born or who live in a situation like

that they grew up with a mom, they see their dad from time to

time. Okay. For the little boys, they grew up with their siblings

and their mom,

and they see their dad from time to time. I feel that the

presence of a father of a male role model in a boy’s childhood

is so incredibly important. It’s very important for a daughter to

grow up with her dad. But she grows up with her mom, she can

copy and paste behavior from her mom. And it’s kind of Yeah, more

natural for a girl to be growing up with her mom and her brother

maybe. But for the little brother, he needs his dad, he

needs to Yeah, learn from a role model from the same gender, how

to go about life. And I feel the women who are trying to do both

are usually overwhelmed. There’s women out there who do an

amazing job. And they have a good relationship with their ex

husband and make it very easy and possible for the children to

see their dad on a regular basis. But for those where it’s

not the case, I see it’s very difficult for the little boys to

grow up and not having a positive masculine role model.

They pick and choose maybe from movies from action heroes, comic

books, maybe Yeah, they have friends that they can see as

role models, but the dad is really missing here and

Sometimes the women who went through a nasty divorce are

angry at their husband or their exes. And it’s on a very subtle

level, that the anger against the x husband is being taken out

on the boy. And don’t get me wrong here, you don’t always

have to go through divorce to have that hatred or fear of man,

you can have been maybe raped or mistreated in your past as a

woman, and still have that subtle fear and hatred against

men. And you will, on a very subtle way, take it out on your

male offspring, you will try and turn them into the perfect man

who’s a bidding who’s submissive. But if he goes out

there into the world, he will quickly realize that Oh shit,

like, this is not how I’m going to get things done. I cannot be

timid and submissive. I cannot be like I was raised and

expected to behave from my mother. I heard this comment

once, and it just made me like started, like, I was so shocked.

It was a guy who said, boys are inherently bad, you have to

break them, you have to break their character, you have to

split open their brain and force goodness into them, because

they’re inherently bad. And I can be open with you. At that

time, it was my boyfriend’s dad.

And

I was so shocked to know that my boyfriend grew up with a dad,

who thought he was inherently bad. And when people think that

when people say such things, then of course, they behave that

way too. And they will always, like overly control the little

boy overly, like shut him down. And when he’s maybe angry and

throwing a tantrum just because, yeah, he’s angry, and he wants

to express himself. They will be beaten down, they will be, as he

said, split open and goodness has to be poured into their

little brains. Like this is so violent, this is so wrong.

Because no matter which gender you have, you will grow up

thinking that you are a bad person, you will grow up and

believe those things about yourself and be shy and not

trust people. Because you think people think you are a bad

person. Isn’t that so? so horrible? And now you can say

all this, what does that have to do with divorce and mothers who

raise their children on their own? Maybe not so much. But I

want to point out that if a woman is fear driven, if a woman

is inherently angry at men, then she will take it out on the

little boy. And it will be in a way that is invisible. For an

outsider, it is just the child that will receive that anger and

that fear driven behavior and will not know that it is not

inherently bad. It is just the mom who has not healed from her

wounds and is taking this out on her children. A woman who has

been hurt is not going to become violent. There’s the odd case

Yeah, there’s violent women out there, no doubt and they have to

go to therapy and have to be treated and be corrected. But

the standard woman, me included when hurt will start to play

mental games, emotional games manipulation, seduction and will

draw you into a mental space where you don’t know where there

is left, or where there is right? You will be so confused,

you will completely lose yourself in the process. Because

it is so subtle. It creeps up into your brain, it manipulates

you, and makes you think that you are a weak, useless,

unworthy person. And it has to be talked about. And I feel me

as a woman, I’m the only one who can talk about it. Because I’ve

experienced this one on one. I know I’m capable of their

behavior. And I know that behavior has been done to me if

you can say that in English.

And the reason I feel we need to talk about it is because it is

so subtle, and no one really puts a finger on it and points

it out. And for men, it is so confusing, because they get so

scared, they get so confused. There’s so much violence and

anger coming up, that the only way that can see they can react

as either run away and shut down or become violent. And the

violence, of course, is not a solution, because you will end

up in jail. And to run away. And to shut down most of the time is

not a solution. Because you keep paying those that money that you

have to pay to your ex. Right. So it is very, very difficult

situation to be in, because you can’t really put a finger on it.

But what I’m trying to do here with my podcast is to disclose

it and talk about it. And know not all women are bad. And not

all women are capable of this behavior. But some are, and we

have to find ways to call them out, and to go to therapy, or

help them otherwise. But as men, you have to know that you are

allowed to

totally

shut down and set boundaries and ask for help. Sometimes, going

through a counseling session where you can truly like trust,

your counselor is very beneficial. There’s wonderful

counselors out there and sometimes even on the phone,

they can help you. But you need to talk to guy friends to maybe

platonic girlfriends, you know, girlfriends that you don’t want

to be physical with romantic with, and speak out how you

feel. Because this is the only way out. I know men and women,

heterosexual men, heterosexual women, those relationships are

in such a big Limbo and mess right now. And I fear if we

don’t start talking about this kind of behavior, then we’re not

gonna get out of this mess anytime soon.

So

if you can resonate with my content here, if you feel like

this is what I need to talk about, then please feel free to

reach out to me on Facebook, or on Instagram. And I have a lot

of good guy friends out there who can be there for you and

listen to you and I will be listening to you too. never

hesitate to give me feedback. Tell me how you feel. If you

think Araya, you went too far, this is no good what you’re

doing here. Or if you feel Aurora, this was awesome. I

needed to hear this I finally feel understood, then please

also reach out to me. So again, I want to raise awareness for

behavior that is not being called out upon in the moment.

And I also want to raise awareness that little boys that

are being raised by a single mom, have a good, right I trust

that the mom is giving everything to her child what it

needs, but it is missing a strong like confident that say

masculine role model. And this is another reason why I bring

guys on To my show, because I want to show to the world that

there’s so many good men out there who deserve women’s

attention. They deserve to be listened to. and understood.

This was a little bit of an intense episode here, I needed

to get this out to you. So again, I hope I didn’t trigger

anything.

I hope you

reach out to me if it resonated with you, I will continue doing

my work here because the feedback I received so far was

very positive and very good. I will be out there tomorrow

again, with a different episode called the inner critic, and how

you can tackle your inner critic and be proud to be on a new path

when you decide to close with things that are not good for you

anymore. All so it is the weekend. So I hope you can have

like some relaxed days where you can just go out in nature and go

for a walk and yeah, let everything sink in. Thank you so

much for listening. This was the Borealis experience. I’m your

host Aurora. And I’ll be out there tomorrow again.