setbacks …they are a natural thing that happens when we decide to grow and let go..
it is okay to reach a plateau and to feel like not progressing at all. It is part of the game.
you have a choice then. beating yourself up and feeling shame and guilt or taking a break and knowing that even the strongest in your field feel that way at times..
be gentle on yourself today
with warmth
aurora
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Transcript
hey there and welcome to the borealis experience i’
Unknown:your host Aurora and yeah i’ very happy to be spending som
Unknown:time with you today i kno that’s my intro but these days
Unknown:really feel like i need tha time out from farm life and si
Unknown:here record an episode for yo and it will give me peace and
Unknown:know i can give you peace too s it really helps me to to creat
Unknown:that space of peace and quie and reflection plus i’m on m
Unknown:period right now and i feel lik a piece of roadkill so it’s goo
Unknown:to take a break from yea running around taking care o
Unknown:chickens fixing stuff and so o today i want to talk abou
Unknown:setbacks and yeah how do yo feel when you have been workin
Unknown:on a project have the intentio to give up an addictio
Unknown:for
Unknown:sorry i’m distracted now because the dogs entered the room or a
Unknown:habit that you want to let go of how do you feel in those days
Unknown:where you have that urge that craving to go back to that habit
Unknown:to that addiction or when you’re working on a project and you
Unknown:feel you’re not advancing you’re stuck here reaching a plateau
Unknown:yeah how do you feel in those times a lot of us feel shame and
Unknown:guilt and feel depressed like short term depression you feel
Unknown:as if you’re a failure as if you really can’t let go of that
Unknown:behavior that habit and i think if we know that it is normal to
Unknown:feel that way that progress growing is not linear it’s not
Unknown:ongoing every day every second on your life in your life that
Unknown:growth is sometimes having to go back having to stop having to
Unknown:relax into what is hey there and welcome to the borealis
Unknown:experience i’m your host aurora excuse moi that was my puppies
Unknown:in the background starting to wrestle and yeah so if you take
Unknown:dozer for example my three year old puppy we are potty training
Unknown:him and he’s been doing awesome like really good and today is a
Unknown:day where it’s not working at all like he doesn’t even say
Unknown:when he wants to go out and there’s absolutely no point in
Unknown:punishing him and making them feel bad we just put him out
Unknown:doors and emphasize again that being outdoors is what is
Unknown:supposed to happen and yeah compassion and patience patience
Unknown:patience big times and i feel with another human with an
Unknown:animal it is so easy to do but when it comes to ourselves we’re
Unknown:always the harshest biggest assholes and so judgmental is so
Unknown:critical and go right into guilt and shame and that makes it even
Unknown:worse like if you look at people who want to get away from
Unknown:alcohol and those days where they have that urge that craving
Unknown:and then maybe go back to a little bit of alcohol and then
Unknown:they think about oh my god i’m going back to my addiction now
Unknown:and try to drink that down and try to numb that feeling out
Unknown:because it’s not good to feel as if you’re failing in overcoming
Unknown:your addiction but you’re doing that very thing to numb that
Unknown:shitty feeling again so how can we not punish ourselves beat
Unknown:ourselves up so much when we have these thoughts when we have
Unknown:these cravings, because it all begins with a thought it all
Unknown:begins with a feeling, right? You want to be good you want to
Unknown:be without your addiction. But you have that feeling that comes
Unknown:up that need to numb things out or to forget or to make things
Unknown:easier with your with your substance of choice. So when you
Unknown:meditate, or when you allow yourself to reflect about your
Unknown:thoughts, then you can catch yourself right away and then do
Unknown:the opposite. Like growing sometimes means to do the exact
Unknown:opposite that what you feel like doing right now. So if you feel
Unknown:like drinking again, smoking again, then go for a run
Unknown:instead, or call a friend and tell her tell him about your
Unknown:thoughts. And don’t give in and don’t beat yourself up, be like
Unknown:your best friend and create a space where you can forgive
Unknown:yourself where you can be okay with these thoughts and
Unknown:feelings, and they will pass they will go away.
Unknown:It is just very important to be kind to yourself. As I said at
Unknown:the beginning, progress growth is not linear. And also means
Unknown:that you will be confronted with situations that come
Unknown:unexpectedly and that will challenge you that will test you
Unknown:it will be tests that come and you will always have a choice,
Unknown:you will always know that you can stop and take a breath and
Unknown:make a wise decision, a decision that is best for you a decision
Unknown:that couple of years back he wouldn’t have been able to do.
Unknown:So I think it is extremely important to say that at this
Unknown:point. That if you are in it for growth, if you are about to give
Unknown:up an addiction or behavior, and you’re listening to my podcast,
Unknown:there will be days where you feel like an absolute failure
Unknown:where you feel you’re not progressing. But nothing is
Unknown:happening. I thought I still there, my insomnia is still
Unknown:there. And I still want to go back to my ex because that’s
Unknown:easiest. those thoughts are just thoughts. And those urges are
Unknown:just urges, but we can learn to observe them and resist them and
Unknown:take the volume down like from a radio station. And then you’ll
Unknown:be good, then you’ll be fine with where you’re at and know
Unknown:that tomorrow is going to be different tomorrow, you might
Unknown:feel like you’re growing again and you’re walking into the
Unknown:right direction. It’s okay to sometimes stop and feel lost and
Unknown:feel like a complete failure. Like when you look at Joe Rogan,
Unknown:when you look at Whitney Cummings, or whoever you’re
Unknown:following whoever you think is doing awesome out there. They
Unknown:all have these days of self doubt of self criticism and of
Unknown:feeling like a failure because you always compare yourself to
Unknown:things that you think you don’t have in life, right? So also
Unknown:successful. Sorry, successful people feel like a failure at
Unknown:times. But what they learn to do is not punish themselves and be
Unknown:okay with that for a moment. And then continue and not let that
Unknown:little setback make you throw away your whole your whole
Unknown:progress that you’ve made in the past weeks or months or years.
Unknown:So it is a conscious decision that you have to make in those
Unknown:times. And I know you can do it because you wouldn’t be here and
Unknown:listening to me. If you were not capable. I believe in you so
Unknown:much. You have to believe in you. And be kind to yourself.
Unknown:Yes, that was it for today. You’re listening to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I’m your host Aurora and I’ll be out there tomorrow.
Unknown:Again. I’m so grateful that I can be raw and transparent and
Unknown:genuine with you. I don’t have to put On the show, I don’t have
Unknown:to be my best to every day I can be low energy and still doing
Unknown:good out there. So I’m very grateful that you value that and
Unknown:that I can serve you the best way I can in a very authentic
Unknown:way. Great
Unknown:until next
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